wz into "the box"... n out again :)

5.58pm n man have i loadssss to put in here!!! wooo i missd this place... its been enormously hectic for me since umm well two days.... bad bad bad n bad.. dats wat i felt n umm blaa d gud thing is m lisnin to "kehna hi kya" finalyy :) and.... and and andddddddd.. my silly thoughts of yestrday although kinda spoiled my "yesterday" dint overshadow it all for "today" .. n since i was all like... ahh mummy... it shudnt be morning tomorroo.. ( oh yea!! i said dat to mum yest... i dint wanna cm to office oneee bit... ) hmm n all dat coz i wasnt able to do the work i was given yest... n it kinda... pulled me .. umm well... yea... it did pull me down... i know .. i knoww... was on my way into "the box" again... n NO ONE WZ PUSHING ME INTO IT.. i was jus pulling myself into it... but hey... i managed to crawl out once again... n i really really realllyyy hope i dont get back in... i had such a bad yesterday i tell ya... iwas soo damn pissed off.. n felt.. "incapable" ahh i know i knoww.. againnn.. very stupid of me.. how cud i judge on dat lil thing... judge "my capability" !!!!! wooooo dats heavy... but yea.. a not so peaceful nite isnt very gud.. sleepin wid d thot ke.. please please please.. kal subah na ho.. isnt gud.. infact its very very very bad... i even ignored my frndz calls n smsz tooo :D sorryyyy... was jus tooo low.. for just about anything... but thn.. d end of it wasnt all dat bad... managed to steal a few hours of sleep from that "pareshan thoughts" after a talk wid a frnd... so a "thanx" conveyed there... and "sorries" too to my pals...

hmmm but hey... i did it :) n mansooooo... u always know i will han... :) :) but know wat... smtimes... it jus dznt help to tell urself.. u cn do it.. wn u see urself "not duin it" but there again... u emerge out well haan.. hmmmmm.. :) the gudie the me... :)
me d glads.. n me d very d very d latesss... 6.07 damnnnn!! i dare miss d busss!!!!!!

kuch nai...

hmmm actually.. today m here.. to write fr d heck of it... yup!!( now odnt u raise ur eyebrows tellin me "as if u dont do dat everyday Tasneem! :D)
well ok.. no reasoning n stuff here.. i jus.. umm wel.. wanna put in some pic here.. n go on n on bout it.. its jus.. to umm well.. may b... for... say... ahhhh.. ab time pass hi samjhlo yaa.. karna chahti hoon bass.. :D
hmmm here goes..

woww... luk at wat i put my hands onnn... beeeaauuutttiiifuuullll hainaa..

hmmmm... lukin at dat... js one thing comz to my mind rite now.. i jus wanna walk that path... with my sister.. n tell her.. dat dad really loves her more than he luvs any of us....

i need to get off here.. not in d right mood to rite!
adios!

a note to my readers

ok.. i know the title is too bhaari bharkam.. i dont mean to flaunt dat i;ve got.. umm well.. 1... 2.. ok 3 readers is what m sure of atleast... not dat m adressing jus to them.. who eva comes across my blog... well there again i dont mean to say... ahh.. i'll make it simpler by jus saying what i mean to rather than saying what i dont mean to....
this place.. is where m out wid everything dat makes me think.... anytihng i wanna say to myself.. is what i put in here.. its all very very personal.. but ya.. worth sharing with all those who matter to me.. havent eva publicised this page of mine.. but ya... wud want whoeva's important to me.. to know of what i think.. n since i may not be able to reachh all those who matter to me,for a personal talk or a share of opinion.. m duin it here.. and this definitely dznt mean... m tryin to publicise any side of me.. jus like how ppl rite diaries.. i jus chose a layer above.. coz i find riting diaries borin n therz always dat thing of sm1 readin it whn u mite not want 'em to... dats y i put all d stuf i wudnt mind being known over here..

n hey... dont anyone of u get bak to me y i've ritten this post..!!

a colorful cup of.. umm cocktail.. :p

well lemme first say y i got bak for a second post for d day... ummm.. ok u guessed it... ennui!! n ya one more thing.. my eyes smhow fell over this lil icon.. which when i moved mouse over.. it read "Add image" n i went like.. ooooohhh.. ahh i know.. bad presence of mind.. very stupid of me to hav ignored dat lil thing for sooo soo sooo long.. n henceee.. i decided i;d use it today.. n wat bettr cud i think of... or i;d rather say.. what better cud a tired brain think of.. had a cup of cocktail(umm i call it dat, i named my wierd taste.. cocktail actually) n so... here it goes.. but hey... gud paintin eh!!?!?!

adios! not returnin fr d day...

Ability is what you're capable of doing

Motivation determines what you do

Attitude determines how well you do it

Live your beliefs and you can turn the world around

well dats wat it reads here in Srimant's cube.. oh how i wish my world would jus turn around n goo zzzzzzzzommm... i need a spinn... kya yaa.. ye bhi koi kaam hua.. its so borin to work on anaothers machine i tell u.. ur mind is so customized to workin wid ur kinda stuff.. dat jus a lil here n there makes ur mind go up n down.. no music here... colorless desktop.. borin sa luk.. well msgr hai.. phir bhi... usme bhi baat nahi.. ahh.. how i wish i cn get bak to my machine asap!! ye silly TR solve kardun bas.. or may be.. i;d get another one to finish.. ? nahii.. well wateva.. n this silly code.. ahh icing on d cake sort! blaa! its best wrkin on ur code yaa.. things alway seem messy whn ur wid anotherz code.. but therz nuthin like ur workin on ur code in dis industry! blaa! bluuu blee!

orissa ka peda kharun abhi mein... apne dood pede jaisa hai.. Soumendra brough it from home.. hmm yellow color ka hai.. ahh janedoo!!!..

may b i'll get bak.. i know i neva make sense in here! dadum dadumm! di dii di dii

ok thank you( :D d idea was to get in that lil girl in kuch kuch hota hai whn shez on stage n she finishes her speech or talk or wateva n srk;s daughter is on stage next n her topic is.. ahh "ma".. m gonna be on wid d whole script now!!)

well d point was.. i jus wantd say .... goodbye :)

home goin time...

ummm one of its kind, a simply.. typically "wipro day at work".. week was gud n bad.. zabardast graph aata if i start plottin d ups n downss.. hehe.. wid peaks bein really high haan.. umm wo kya bolte.. the crests and troughs... hmm so.. the crests... umm i think d higher onez r d crests.. so.. they;d be more.. n the troughs.. wich i think are d lower ones.. wud not be too deeply loww.. blaaaaaaa.. wt m i sayinn!! :D

eeekss janedo... home goin time.. hmmmmmm like i always say... d best part of cmint o wrk.. is d thought of getting back home.. walkg dat path to d bus bay area(dats wt they call it here)

ta ta :)

wow!!!!

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa i dont believe what happenedddddddd!! oh my Goddd!!!!! i dont believe thiss!!!!! the fone jus rang.. n it said "Sadatullah sir" i cudnt believe, i jus pikd the fone and it was himmmmmmmmmm!!! he called me all the way from bangalore to ask me how i am!!! can you believe dat??!!?! i cant!! i really cant...
he went like.. this is Sadath from bangalore, can i talk to you for two minutes.. i said sure sir.. and he went like how are things at office now.. and i said its perfectly alrite sir... it jus tuk me two minutes to sort out everything..!!!! and he jus laughed a bit and said.. Alhmdulillah... may Allab bless you, jus keep on your word, you shall always succeed.. I AM SOO HAPPY yaaa.. i really cant say how happy i am.. he called to ask me how it all went.. ahhhh woww!!!! i feel like m flying.. hez so concerned, hez sucha bz man i tell you.. and he bothered to call me up.. i dont even remmber giving him my number, i dont know how he managed to get mine.. wow!!!! woww wowwwwwww!!!!

He touched my life.

Its 8.44 am, and i'm at my desk with loads to share, i have so many things to tell myself, so many things my friends wanna know.. m gonna meet 'em over lunch n tell 'em all about it.. they were very eager.. all wondering.... wats rong wid Tasneem :). i happen to realise, they care more than i thought.

i keep saying.. not very often though... that LIfe teaches and I am learning. the last three days of my life have been somehting like a bookmark. i had just read that people can have n impact and touch lives, never had i experianced that. it was in these three days that i really realised that. may be i shud say.. just yesterday.. coz wat happended yesterday.. never happened to me earlier. i felt like i took the biggest risk of mylife. now it seems so meager to me, but i realise, it was the most daring challeneg i took up yesterday. if i couldnt do it yesterday, i wouldnt ever be able to do anything later on. i was being backed up by a huge gathering. i couldnt believe it.. i saw it all in movies n read it in novels n magazines happening to "big" people, and NO m not exaggerating, this is the exact state of my mind and heart rite now.

i had been to this workshop called "Discover Yourself." by Sadatullah Khan, the editor of Islamic Voice a monthly magazine. i was very eager to attend it since about 5 6 months, thats since i had read about it in that magazine. i was in the course of the "workshop" and i learnt many little things that i had been ignoring. but the mos important event was this.

I had planned to take a sick leave on monday( it was a three day workshop sat sun n mon). i had run out of my annual leaves and i did not want to go for n LOP. i had all my sick leaves and thought i'd use one of them. there was a lil thing dat kept sayin.. your goin for a good cause and ur lieing Tasneem( its not that i never lie. smtimes in little things that i feel "dotn matter" i lie effortlessly) and this one.. i never considered it a lie. neways.. i dint even think about it.
Saturday passed and sunday too, i had a nice itme learning the little things of life, very little things that all of us know very well, i jus happend to get them brsuhed up, with people sharing thier experiances. it was so good. Mr. Sadat was talking of something and there was already some1 in the audiance who could relate that to thier personal life and they were kind enuf to share it, and so... whatever he was saying dat sort of seemd "hypothetical" to me seemd so real when i realised, hey... this is true and it has just now effected a life.
neways.. although i was learning and understanding.. i couldnt match many things with any part or may be i should say incident of my life.Then... it was the third day, monday... Sameer bhai was dropping me to dat confernce hall everydya, he asked if m goin to office, i said no, u have to drop me to the same place, he askd if i called up office, i said no, he askd me to call, then i said... i'll do it later..... all the while in the car, i was thinkin, i'll do it now... but i smhow.. was sort of hesitant to call up NAidu n tell him m not well so wont come. i reached d place.. i thot i'll do it now... i tried... i couldnt... i enterd d hall, i thought again.. i'll do it now... but again i dint... i smhow kept trying, but smthing was pulling me... and at d best thing was.. i dint realise i was so hesitant.. all this was so unconcious to me. i jus kept postponing it.. n i dint give it any importance either, i dint give that hesitation any importance..
the day started, Mr. Sadath began to speak, he askd one of my sister's friend how shez feeling about d the two days shez already spent here, she was on stage and she shared with us all, m feeling gud, iw as laughed at by my brothers and others at home, but i am trying and i saw yesterday, they are realiseing too..... on that.. he(mr. Sadath) took a pen in his hand and placed it on his palm and asked Akhila Baji to try and lift it. everyone in the hall was shocked and she was a lil embarassed too, newyas.. she jus held her hand out n lifted the pen. he then said to her, i askd you to try to lift not to lift it.... everyone got confused... so was i... then he said.. ok.. now you try hard to lift it... she again didnt understand what to do,, she laughed n we all laughed. then he said... ok.. lift it... n she lifted it.. v all laughed again. and it clikd to me... damn.. dats wat.... m jus trying to call since then... y m i not actually calling?? he was still going on with that.. n i jus got up from my chair and walked out... i made a call to Naidu and said.. Naidu m not well so cant make it to office. he said.. ok... take care.. n phewwwwwwwwwwwww... wat a relief... i walkd in, but i still felt.. well it wasnt difficult at all, but.. i sudnt have lied... but dat thought was jus in d background.. too tiny.. it wudnt effect me.. i was glad i called up... went back n sat wid all concentration and enjoyed the talk. the very next topic he convered was integrity. n ting tong.. it was like.. smthing striked.. dats d value of wipro!! silly me... shameless me.. damn.. i thot.. whatever he discussed was in the light of ISlam and the Quran and hadeeth. i felt bad now and told myself m gonna apply for n LOP tomorrow n then feeling a little better i continued n enjoyed my day.

it was evening. time to leave.. jus then, Mr. Sadath said, plz come and share what you have learnt and realised from what we have been workin on since these three days...
i really wanted to share this bit of my life... the "try" bit... and i went on n talked about it.. everyone was smiling at me.. and so was I.. i even told bout how i lied n how i realiesed and dat m gonna apply a lop tomorro... jus then mr. Sadath said, y tomorro.. do it rite now... n i jus lukd at him.. shocked.. he said.. go.. call ur manager, tell him u lied , tell him you are at a workshop... i was on stage, i was embarassed, i had a mike in my hand.. n i went... nooooo wayyy.. i cant do dat.. n he said.. you just told me you realised what it means to be a person of ur word, then y not. truth has power, thes are little things, he shouted again, he said.. go out rite now, talk to your manager, i kept sayin i cant do it.. the whole gathering there began tellin me to go do it and dat i can.. it was sooo wierd.. i cudnt believe it... ppl were recording all this too.. i was so embarased.. i jus thot i;d share the try bit n luk wats happening. but then i realised, well its true... what i am here for n what i did.. if i cant keep my word now.. if i cant keep my word after realiseing the importance of my word.. i never can do it again in my life. if i dont initiate this change now, i never will. there were "big" ppl in the hall offering me thier cell fones to make the call.. i said no.. i have my own.. n walked out... i was terribly horrified.. i cudnt believe i had to call up naidu and tell him i lied n that iw as at a wrkshop, my frnd told me not to.. i told her if dont do it now.. i wont do it ever,,, she had done d same thing.. tuk a sick leave... she calld up n spoke to her boss.. i walked out.. to call naidu.. he wasnt at his desk... i went back in.. every one in d hall was waiting for me... he called me on stage.. n said come back here.. tell us what happende.. i said he wasnt at his desk.. n he dznt carry a cell , its wid his wife( he really dznt). i felt so uneasy, now i wanted to really call up n confess.. cudnt take this pressureo n me... trust me.. it was killing me dat moment. Mr. sadath said, you did not intend to, dats y you cudnt.. but atleast you tried. so get bak. i got back to my seat... but this was the biggest storm i ever felt in my heart. who m i fooling? myself? i dont have d courage to be on my word, and i pretend to be a gudie? i cant do this little thing formyself, what can i ever do for any one else?? i walked out again.. the talks were on.. the other ppl in their were sharing thier experiances.. neways.. iw as already the cynosure for d day!!(ahhh!!!!!) i called up naidu again.. he was ther... but i cudnt talk to him, i ran outta balance.. damn i said to myself.. y is this happening.. i wwnt inside again.. mr.sadath was lukin at me.. askd wid his eyes.. what happnd.. i js smiled.. i tuk asma's cell n calld again.. this time i could speak to naidu... i said.. naidu i called up in the mornin to tell you i was sick and .. cuttttttttttttt... damn!! it got disconnected again... i cudnt belive this was happening to me.. i really cudnt.. dat fone ran outta balance too.. it had js enuf to make a 1 minute call... i went in again.. there was a guy i askd him if he had a fone.. he said no.. i went inside again.. i tuk another ladies fone.. n called up... n finally this time.. i cud talk to him... i told him.. naidu... i called up in the morning to tell you i wasnt well.. actually... m at a workshop, and i am ok... i was feeling guilty about the whole thing so i called you to tell you that ia m here... i am very sorry. and he asked.. what workshop.. i told him bout it.. then he askd.. inside wipro? or outside wipro? i said.. its outside wipro.. n he said.. Tasneem this is not corrct.. its integrity issue you shud not do this.. r u coming tomorro... i said ys... ok v'll tlak tomorro he said.. n cut d fone..
i dunno what i felt after dat.. it was like sooo much peace... so much peace.. but a new storm.. of what will happen tomorro. i walked in.. n ppl noticed the in and out i was duing n d worry dat i had on my face.. i went again on stage.. and i said what happend.. and then iw as told.. you kept your word.. m sure ur feeling powerful now........ believe me.. whn iw as told go talk to ur boss now.. i told myself.. this fella'z lost it... fine hez teaching gud things... but hey.. is he nuts?! i cant do dat... but i realised.. as i felt d nothingness... dat if i do it.. i;d feel peace.. and hey.. I did.... and then another thing.. dat i shall never forget...

after all htis.. i headed for Asar prayers.. i finished namaz and i jus turned around to move bak to the hall, a lady... aged about.. 45 or more... came to me and askd my name.. i said Tasneem and smiled.. and she said.. beta.. ap jo kare wo bohot acchi cheez thi. i jus smiled... and iw as still worried.. she then said to me.. ap abhi bhi pareshan dikhre... pareshan mat ho... mein abhi namaz me dua kari ap donon ke liye, kal sab theek hoga inshAllal.. I cudnt believe it.. i was on d verge of crying... this women.. who dznt even know me... had included me in her dua after her namaz. and she said she asked her fellow mate also to include us... i was overwhelmed... this is perhaps the best event of my life... som person i dotn even know has specially prayed for me in their namaz. i pray for myself my family and friends and and all muslims in general but never did i wid heart and soul pray for some1 like this.

it was so touching.. therz a difference in me. i realised it yesterday... the first wo days iw as all excitd n happy dat therz gona be a change.. but now i realise i was js sayin dat to myself.... but waht happnd yestrday evening... made me realise... dat yes.. there really is a difference.

i came today morning.. calm.. in peace... to face naidu... he is usually d first or d second to come(i am first otherwise) i prayed dat he shud come b4 me today.. n as i walked in he was there.. i js walked to him strait... and was mum... he lukd at me.. i lukd at him.. he wanted to smile( it seemd dat way to me) but he dint.. then he jus told me.. v encourage such wrkshops Tasneem, but you must say, you shudnt do this.. and i jus replied, yes i realise dat.. and i was guilty so i called up yesterday, and i am sorry i shall never repeat this. and dats itttttttt!!!!!! it tuk me less than 2 minutes to sort it .. less than two minutes!! of what i thot .. would turn out.. very bad...

i feel so gud :)

hey... its 9.41 am now :)
ciao!!

P.S hey i frgot to mention.. on d first day i had got this "homework" to do to find out my +ves n -ves from the ppl who are closest to me... n wow.. what all i got to know.. i dint know they think of me life dat... n i ensured they dint say it fr d heck of it.. i cud fel it.. they so true in criticsm too.. n i realised i unconciously started wrking on my negatives already :)

heading home :) heading towards a weeknd :)

heyyyy... its time to go home home homeee..... :)
i really wonder... how these ppl manage to stay away from their homes... pity them sorts too...
well d best part of comin to office is to walk dat path to d bus bay area... so i cn get bak home... mmmm luv it.. n d toppin on d cake.. i;ve got a great weeknd plan.. wil post bou tit laterzzz :)

ciao..

n m so glad :)

know wat...

its a great feelin to accomplish a task which u begin wid the thot that

"its difficult, i doubt if i can do it"

n i;ve jusssss had d "feel" of dat kinda feel :)

n m so glad...

i dint think i'd b able to do it... but then... i jusssssssss did it.. :)

n m so glad

hey, this is goin rhythmic heheh

n m so glad

nah.. wont make it irritatin

but m still sooo glad

weekend ahead... rejoice rejoice..

n therz no doubt.. dat m glad

ciaoo

:(

i've been procrastinating this post of mine since quite sometime now.. not that i;ve loads to scribble.. but.. you know.. i jus somehow manage to fill it up.. but ya.. i do sort of hav content.. coz.. m .. upset. n angry.. vey angry.... i left my earfones at my desk like i always do... this morning.. i dint find them connected to my system.. the extension cord was in its place but the earfones wer missing :(( .. how bad is dat now... n u know.. m kinda used to it... i happen to do quality work n less time with them on.. not dat i cant buy a new pair.. but buttt.. not fair yaa.. mere hi mile the kya?! sabke to the yahan.. then Y MINE :(

memory to philosophy...

"Do you see me as a resource that comes free to you in the name of friendship?" ya.. dat was the most bitter thing i had ever said to anyone... it was long time ago.. i had said dat to one of my most dear friend coz i was hurt n i was expected to help in a meaty issue and behave like nuthing had happend, not that i did'nt want to help.. but hey..i dont like bein taken granted for.... i still remmber those words jus as i had said them.. n hate them just as much... but ya.. the guilt isnt as much.. coz the words wernt taken seriously... the recipient dint seem to care.. so atleast m off the guilt dat i hurt sm1 wid those bitter words...
what we say is so important.. we still use words loosely.. i am usually veyr careful about what i say... but smhow..u know an angry mind jus yells out...
"words" are losing thier essence as time passes.. wat is said is forgotten, nuthingz usually registered in the mind.. it jus takes a single way .. u know.. in thru one ear n out frm the other.. but dats bad... when sm1 says smtihng.. its important for them.... n they see it important even for the person they are talking to.. listening skills is what they name it now... n pack it up all to showcase it as an 'advantage/skill' that will take you places.. but isnt that something minimum required of the human ettiquettes that we supposedly possess??

hey.. i managed that well eh?? started off wid smthin dat js clikd n.. moved on to.. ehmm well.. philosophyy.. errkkk.. but hey.. i still maintain its n issue worth pondering over.. atleast i will, whn i read dis smtime again.. :)

signing off... :)

ur this ur dat ur marzi ur everything!!!

Its no fair you know, when one cares.. one cares.. when ur askd to prove it.. it hurts... i;ve always put things this way... if u cant do smthin dat another person likes.. atleast dont do things they'd dislike... it always happens.. i dont want to do things another would want me to... dats not d stubborn side of me.. i jus wudnt want to coz of sm silly reason... may b coz i havnt earlier done it, or dont find it rite or dont like to do it... then y cant it just b that way... i dont expect ppl around me to do things i like, all i expect is a little consideration only to accomadate things into thier comfort zones... never out of it... then y dz this side of of it hav to b highlightd.. smtimes wid taunts( u really dont realise whn ur taunting a person.. only d person whoz at d recieving end knowz wat its like.. trust me! u;d neva know whn u;v tauntd sm1 n they'v felt bad about it) smtimes with labels.. ya.. may b not direct.. but indirect.. to finally make u feel.. ya.. ur stubborn n this aint gud, ur selfish n this aint gud, ur self cntered n dis aint gud, ur hard hearted and this aint gud, ur stone hearted n dis aint gud.. n finally u dont hav a heart.. n this aint gud.... the crudest of humans wud breakdown on such thots about them.. n ppl think it dznt effect.. it dznt matter.... all this.. jus coz.. u suposedly possess wat are called "principles of life" and (mind you this term is also something sm1 else imposes on you ) ur ways of doing things, ur thots, ur feelings.. and in all this.. the "thots" and the "feelings" are stolen of all the limelight and all credit goes to "ur"... y is it always u...and you are again told "ur this ur dat ur marzi ur everything"... i ask Y NOT?? when you care... you share.. smtimes u cant .. u jus cant.... i ask again SO WHAT!!??

this onez jus fr u Shubha

u neva know yaa. u jus neva know... jus a lil while ago iw as so pissd off... i hated everythin around me.. this place this cube this sys.. wanted a damn break.. frm duin "nuthin" n its d end of d day.. n here..i get these dilbert cartoons from shubha.. n man i cudnt stop laughing.. n hey.. m all smiles at d end of the day... n bhook bhi lagri n ghar jaane ka time bhi.. see it all ends soo well.. wid pals like shubha around.. life is colorful :)

loggd this jus to reminisce how u made my day dear Shubha. m glad ur my friend sweety :) thanx a tonne :)

17Jan'2007, subah7.20 se lekar abtak ki daastaan

well the title meant-"17 January'2007, my tale from 7.20am till now"

"Tasneem uthoooo tumaku office nai jana hai aj,7.30 hogaye?"(Tasneem, get up! dont u have to go to office today, its 7.30 already) my sister yells at me, n i pushd d blanket off my face to see therez lite all around.. n i feel.. heyy!! its morning already... n as i fidgetted to find my phone around my pillow, a look at it made me go crazy! IT REALLLY IS 7.20... damn i leave home at 7.30 every day n i;ve got js 10 minz...had no time fr anything but a wash n to slip into wateva clothes i cud put my hands on.. n i rushed downstairs since it was 7.35 already.. well managed to reach d bus stop on time.. n was in office again in no time.. although its a long journey, i really dont know y it ends up so soon.. expecially when i dont want it to...

no breakfast either.. ahh i was soo hungry... anywyz managed a 'masala omlette' here.. which he gave me after i was thru wid all my patience level.. i dunno y it tuk him so long for 1 omlette..(atually uski galti nai hai... he had too many orders already, but hey!! sabko aj hi omlette order karna tha kya.. whn i was hungry!!!) blaa.. managed to grab a bite.. well.. quite a few onez actually.. n thn got bak to my cube wid my cup of cocktail.. n hav been well pretty much lazing around since then... well.. not dat i dont hav wrk(waise sach poocho to aj sachme kam nai hai :) ) neways... d barbeque at d farm fotos were appreciated :) .... geee.. js dat i cud wile away some time mailing 'em to my frndz :) hmmm n thn it was lunch time... moved to d cafeteria aftr namaaz, n i saw no familiar face there... well actually i did.. js dat i dint find myself comfrtable enuf to join 'em fr lunch... so got bak... n here goes... again i think m hungry n overwhelmed by ennui.. i sit typin watevvaz on my mind... i wish i really can, smday, put down watevvaz in my heart jus as effortlessly as i do this...

neva mind..
m off it fr now...

adios!!

:) aye haaye :)

as if i jus needed a bahaana!!!!!! Patrick Ostman's visit to wipro probably aint all dat imp to him( nah it actually must be) than it was to me.. not that i knew it would be this way!! hehe.. wierd stuff n all to put in here.. n take my word.. iw as actually tryin to keep all those events in mind so i wudnt miss thm.. this one has to go on my blog.. was my thot!! :D

Remainder: meeting with Patrick at 12pm followed by lunch

i put it on a snooze.. (remind jus 5 mins earlier karke!!) wasnt like very eager bout d whole thing... nor was i inquisitive bout how a client meet mite be.. but yea.. as it proceeded it unvield to me so many surprise.. all of which i welcomed and learned from...

we were all at Coral( dats d name of d room where v had d meet) 5 minz early.. n dat fella was already in there..... it was today .. infact at dat time dat i realised.. oh .. d ppl in my team actually hav got some life in 'em!!! they wer laughin around.. jus like lil kids would outside d principal's room in school :D, neways.. both naidu n kannan( d PM's) were already in there.... n one of these ppl entered n the rest follwed him into the room... there he stood smiling, dat sure was a pleasing site smhow there was warmth in it( i dunno how i read all dat from his smile.. but yea.. m very sure i dod read all dat frm jus his smile.. coz i felt myself returning a similar smile( n cummon u know when u really smile dil se n whn u jus paste one on ur face!!) )

neways.... his face n shirt wer both pink... d only difference was.. that when he smiled or laughed ( which he did quite a few times) his face would go a lil more pink and his ears would sort of turn red but d color of his shirt wouldnt change... else they all lukd perfectly blended.. absolutely same shade :D.( waise to m not d kind who notices so much... infact looks are one thing.. nah.. THE one thing dat i dont pay attention on when i meet or see sm1.. it jus hapens to be their gestures n behaviour... ) yea.. so all i mean to say is... it aint that i actuall noticed it.. its jus dat all of it was more than evident :) . .

A pleasing personality( a daddy like being :) very gud to be with.. u know d kind that u;d go... smiiiiileeee... :D ) n there he began... he jus spoke smthin.. n all dat much.. hold on.. sm1 callin me!!.... ya.. so bak.. heheh dat was fr for... for for fooorrrrrrrrrrrr CHOCOLATES!!!!!!! ya.. wil tell u bout d chocolates bit in a while.........

hmm so where was i.. ya.. he started speakin... nah.. wait.. lemme say smthin else before that.. wat i thot of d whole thing as i stepped into Coral.. its gonna be one of those dynamic meetings... well atleast d initiative seemd full of dynamism.... ya.. so he started speakin... n.... he stammered.. not once.. not twice.. it was so many many times.. rather it was more so.. dat it was very much a way dat he spoke.... i dunno.. that really dint startle me as such.. but yea... d kind of image i had about the whole thing... you know the "lessons" taught before u enter d corporate world.. dat u gotto be gud.. u gotto be reaLLY GOOD.. U u shud know how to talk, what to talk when to talk, u should know to write really well.. all that communication skill things..i jus had a flashbak sort... n here i was sitting in front of a man... complete in himself ... well versed in technical skills.. n hey.. jus imagine.. if such aperson(indian) would take d initiative to speak.. or rather to present smthin... leave alon in a different country.. may be rite here in india.. he;d be laughed at...... well. i mean.. i was jus wondering.. would wipro india... ok.. i'll say wipro manikonda ...send a person... n indian.. who'd stammer to represent wipro.. in Finland? .. well i dont think so... we here dont treat ppl dat way.. y? i dont know y... he mite have all his technical tactics rite.. but no.. he proabbly wudnt be sent.. cz he stammers.... see d difference... v really need to grow as humans.. u know.. to respect one for what he is ... is very important... very very important... jus to live a satisfactory life perhaps... a peaceful one rather.....

neways... movin on.. so he started speakin.. he went like ... may be we shud begin with n introduciton... n he introduced himself... n dat followed n intro sort of .. for d rest of d team.. but obvious i was d last one to speak.. coz i chose d perfect place :).. n i went like... I am Tasneem and have joined the CPI team just last week (i dont have to mention that i was smiling do i??? :D ) n he gave me a broad smile n said.. welcome to CPI.. n thennn.. he held this blak color bag.. n put it on d table.. n.. and andd.. from that... he removed.. a box of choclates.. then another one... and another one... n yea.. d last one after that.... n i could see my team gooo yooooooo... although they dint say it..... u know d .. mann mein laddu phoot rahe the kinda expressions( yea i cud make dat out!) .. well after that.. he moved towards another bag.. n from there.. he removed three more boxes of chocolates :) n said.. this is a gift from me to the cpi team offshore( dat happens to be us :) ) n the other boxes were a token of gift from.. umm well.. lemme get their names... ya.. Kiran and Girish.. d ppl onsite.. to d offsite team.. :) neways.. so its like.. chocolates.. finnish chocolates here on my table.. n my drawer.. waise hamari team kaafi badi hai .. tooooo.. end me.. utne zyade nahi mile.. magar kafi hain.. i ate umm 1 2 ... nai.. 4... m gonna take d rest home.. fr my sistrz n mummy.. n my baby Rehan :) ... i wanna share it wid my frnds too.. but they are'nt many.. n if i do.. then i cant take any home... n d reason iw anna take 'em home is.. ummm welll.. u know.. first joib.. first CLIENT meet.. first client gift sort.. jo bhi yaa.. bas wanna show mumma n baba.. :) .. n my sisters tooo.. will luv 'em na..

ya.. so after d chocolate part.. hey .. know wats goin on rite now... d ppl onsite sent us a mail askin how v likd choclates.. n these ppl are like.. radha has confiscated all of 'em./.. i dinno these ppl really had life in them yaa.. heheh..

ya.. so where was i...( i jus tuk a break to hav a choc... :D wo choc me na... caramelised mint tha n i dint expect it.. n whn i bit it... umm wo under ka.. mint hting started pouring out.. n its.. all over my fingrs now.. n i dont hav a tissue also... neva mind!!) haan.. jaane kyun log pyar karte hain.. jaane knyu wo kisi pe amrte hain..... hushhh!! chill.. jus lisnin to dat song yaaa..

hann.. so he went on wid d meeting.. i mean d formal presentation.. n d main agenda n stuff.. n all dat went on till.. umm well.... 1 or so... pyaar bin jeene me rakha kya hai.. pyar jisko nahi.. wo tanha haii.. ( SORRRYYY!!!! heheh)

haan.. n there d meetin wrapped up.. n we had to move for lunch... hmmmmm d lunch.. obviously.. first eva formal lunch of mine... blaa not dat i was wonderin wat to do.. but ya... v moved to d talent transformation blok.. i dnt remmba how exactly i reachd there.... i was jus followin sm1.. n v landed in a neatly arranged room.. n got seated.. mean while raste me .. ye baaki team waale na.. bohot maskharapana karre the.. u know.. thier umm well may b they call it masti... so i was like.. oho.. ye log bhi.. yea rrrite!! neways... v had dat lunch of ours.. it was fine.. bettr than cafeteria ka khana.. it ought to be waise.. warna koi client nahi aata tha yahan.. khair... d lunch went on for soo long.. i realised v wrapped up at 2.30.. itni der tak khaye i was wonderin....

so it all ended... n ... v moved bak... n on my way.. i spoke to one of my team members.. ( ya it was like fr d first time iw as talkin to sm1 casually n she seemd so much like us, nai to i thot ye log ki zindagi kaam me hi nikalti hai.. kahan phasa diya wo Bala ne mujhe.. )

bholi si soorat aankhon mein masti.. dur khadi sharmaaye.. aye hayee.. :D

chalo.. i'll wrap it up here.. before i type d whole song.. sawan ka pehla baadalll..............



hey i frgotttt... d mountain thin..... ya.. so its like.. every time v have a new proj.. i mean a new thing to do in d same proj.. umm well.. may b i shud say.. d new release of d tool dat is due.. d proposed plan is.. named after... a mountain.. ya.. its .llike... a new mountain to climb..... so.. this time d mountain;s name is... Annapurna.. n its gonna be in two increments.. well it usually is dat way.. v sort of have two increments goin every year sort.. hmm.. so.. dat wat dat Kanchenjunga thing i read about in d knowledge repository... n ya.. its like.. every alternate year its n Indian peak... so it was matterhorn proj this time.. which i earlier thot was smthin else.. but it was d name of a peak in Europe... so dats how CPI works.. n now.. v have plans fr Annapurna...


kab tak chup baithe... ab to kuch hai bolnaa.. :D :D

will not get bak again.. atleast for d dayyy :)

adios!

Pata nai...!!#$%^&*!#!!

pata nai, not much to put here.. has been a lonesome day although they;ve been ppl around, very much makin their presence felt, physically n virtually...

pata nai.. therz so much to nuthin .. n nuthin at all to d so much i;ve had fr d day... blaa jaanedo..

hey.. suno suno sunoooo absolutely borin day wid me n docs, n docs n docs.. m so thankful its d computer age.. else i cudnt imagine myself wid a huge stack of papers in frnt of me.. to review.. no.. not review... to.. umm well.. study... or may be evn skim thru for d rest of d week.. kya hoga mera.. i hope i survive this ennui( my fav word.. ahh i;ve used aftr suchhh a longggg time hehehe)

therz so much so much so muchh.. but therz nuthin nuthin nuthin.. lolz i know i cn mess it all up n neva make one undstand! blaaa.. watevaa..

byee

BoOoOoM!!!!!!

My goodness!!! i;ve gotto log dis event!!.. mite seem silly later( waise bhi wateva i put here seems silly to me whn i read it later )

i was too engrossed in these documents...had like many many many things to read bout n suddnly... BOOOOOOM!!!!!! yeaa!! i jus heard a booom.. a mini xplosion kind..i heard it frm like.. umm well seemd like it was a nice frm smwhere behind.. i jus stoppd n lukd bak.. i cud see thru d windo.. hoooooooo!!! it was SMOKEEE!!!! aila.. i thot kuch to hua.. n know wat came in my mind jus then.. ... sm days bak sm frnd of mine told me of sm bomb scare at infosys banglore... geee.. yahan bomb booommmmm ... thn i thot. nai.. may b smthin lesser than dat.. coz i saw jus a lil smoke.. n wasnt d only one startled.. evn umm wats dis fell's name.. wait.. yea.. Sesi Bhushan( jus turnd around to chk on his name plate :D) he kept lukin fr a minute too... n jus thn... i was still think.. ohhh i musttttt blog this.. heheh me such a a.. aaa.. ah wateva!! blaa..

as i finish this.. it jus seems to me.. dat was a lil xplosion those ppla t d other end of wipro( which is sort of in d makin) made to blow up sm huge rock or smthin.. blaaa.. bomb yea ritee heheeheheh.. stupidly wierd imagination!! :P

seems rubble all over.. haan yaaa... wahi tha i think.. blaaa!!!

hey.. chalo bye.. wil get bak again.. may b no today.. errr.. or may be i will get bak again today..

ciao!!



i told ya i;d b bak!!!! it was 3.15 then... n its 5.44 now... n hey.. ya.. i frgot... my alumni meeeeet! dat was such a nice experiance... not dat it was smthin thrillin or smthin extraordinary.... a regular.. typical MJ get together... but was special.. i met my pals after longggg... :) n i luvd it... v had lil talks .. reminicsed gud old days... ( old!! woo yea rrite!!!!) cudnt belive i was there again.. not as a student.. was there as n alumnus.. ahh i remmba pullin Nadeem Bhai's leg over dat.. n he had said.. aayega bhai.. aapka bhi number aayega.. tab dekhnege.... n on saturday.. iw as like.. ye lo.. aagaya wo din bhi..... same col.. jus wanted to move around.. luk around .. walk that path again.. but fariya d silly girl was late! i dunno Y she has to work on a saturday!!!! every weeek!! ooparse weekdays bhi til 8!! .. v played silly games.. n won cute prizes.. i got these realllyy cute lukin pen holders..hmm i;ll try describin thm... ummm.. one was a cube... with pink fluid kinda hting inside it.. n lil boats hangin around there.. with lotsa gliter.. colorful n sute.. the other one was a lil bigger... it was a hexagone sort... n purple colored fluid wid similar cute lukin boats floatin inside n lotsa gliter in dis one too.. m gonna get d pink one fr my desk tomorro :)

n heyyyy Kabul express yaaroooo.. i likd it.. it was guddd :) hatke frm d regulars umm it was jus nice.. n i wanted to see it.. n iwas glad i ended up seein it..

uumm well chalo.. 5.50, another 10 minz n me shooooo.... this Java 5 thing seems gud yaa.. two things i understood of it.. it seemd so programmer frndlyy ahh.. hv a lil more to catch up dat.. blaa.. wrk fr today was jus docs n docs n docs... n seems its gona b d same fr d rest of d week.. i aint sure if i shud rejoice.. cz seemingly.. this is d best.. rather d least wrk one gets to do here,,, so its like.. m spared for another weakk.. ....... ohhh am i?!?!!!!!

n hey!!! peach n white!!!! yeaaaaaa rrrrrrrrritE!!!!( m gonna reallly laugh readin this bit later.. if i actually remmba y i;ve rittn it)

signing offf! adios!!

Fridayz havent been this awaited earlier.. :D

Its jus a lil while bak that Fridayz have become the most awaited for me( there is one thing i feel ashamed of as i write about "waiting for a friday" now, nonetheless will not mention that reason here.... there are a few things iw ud neva wanna share wid anyone atleast at dis point of life..) ahh dat bracket was a fairly serious mood.. blaa... not required anymore!! eeee.. yea... so so so sooo well its a friday againn... a weekend ahead!!!!! chuttiiiiiiii!! mastiiii... funnnn ye wooo.. blaa bluuu.. heheh all those words can be defined by a one liner for me.. know wat dat is "being at home"... ahhh ghar ki baat nahi aati yaa kahin bhii heheh..

so a long weeknd.. i plan to sleeeeeeeeep!!!!!! zyada nai.. jus 8 baje tak... n agar baba kuch nai boleto.. toooo 10 baje tak.. aur agar fir bhi kuch nai boleeee... tooooo 11 baje tak.. heheh.. usse zyada merse nai hota!! loll

mmm cant wait... 5.40pm...... a purplish sky.. n i see d reflection of d street lite in d window of dat other side of wipro dats in d makin.. ahhh a call.. ek min.... haan.. so dat seemd pretty nice..

blaaaa neva mind.. kya mujhe pyaar haiii yeaaaaaaaaa.. kaisa qumaar haiii yeaaa... arre.. jus a song m lisnin to rite noww...

chal.. bye fr now.. itssss FRIDAYYYYY yipppyyyy!!!

ta taaaaaa

blaa d bluuu d bleee.. arre jo bhi yaaa!! ;)

Hmm, now thats swift motion indeed, seems elegant...like a bird.......... absolutely clear sky, not a dot to give it a messy look.... oh no.. ya therz this yello big huge... umm i dunno wat they call it.. smthin used fr construction... crane hota haina... uska dad lagra raha hai.. nah.. grandpa i think...

yea.. bak to dat swift elegant blaa blaa motion.. was talkin of a plane dat i see frm here.. my new cubicle T4/T/C120. yup dats tower 4, 3rd floor. n there are these huge windows rite in frnt dat gimme a pleasant view..well.. of.... ummmm d other side of wipro-mkd n a clear sky... i think it was n indian airlines flite.. ya fir air india ki thi hogi... well cud make out it was one of d two.. jus dat i aint sure coz my gk aint all dat gud...

neways.... i jus saw it move in d sky n it sort of caught my attention for those two seconds after whihc i saw it dissappear(chala gaya yaar aage... plane hai... jaldi hi move hoga na!! )
ya.. so... it wasnt dat i saw an airplane fr d first time.. but ya.. i sure saw it fr d first time frm dis new place of mine... thru these windows.. n it jus reminded meof da....... WTC incident... yea.. 9/11

kaise laga hoga unlogon ko.. d ppl on dat floor... where d plane hit... they cud see it cm towards them thru such huge windows.. where they wer wrkin... in d wee hours of mornin... this one thing reminded me of those tv grabs i saw.... it seemd so similar... wahi cubes sorta structure... those flipping curtains.... n these windows n stuff.... jus dat d plane wasnt as close as it was then.. but obvious!!

ahaan .. yelo.. n obstruction to my view.... oh ok.. therz a balcony sorts here.. dats wat.. i was wondering how'd this guy turn up here wid his cup of cofee n d fone...

neways....... today... Tasneemz frame of mind( i hate talkin of myself like dat.. i mean.. u know.. Tasneem talkin of herself n always sayin Tasneem this Tasneem dat... ahh u dont get it do u.. wait.. i;ll xplain.... its like.. suppose I keep using "Tasneem" when i can actually use " my, me, mine" so may b if i;d wanna say.. "dat buk belongs to me... i;d say... dat buk belongs to Tasneem.. hmm ya... talkin of urself in the third person sense... its like givin urself dat utmost monarchy n majestic sort of importance.. blaaaa! yea rrite... it sounds tacky.. n is like throwin attitudee!!!!! n dats one thing dat DOES NOT define me...yea now get bak to readin at what was before this brcket started!!).. is so different frm wat it was yesterday... u neva know yaa..
hey... wil be right bak wid a cup of cofee.. really feel like havin one... hold on.. will be back..!

geeeee.... m bakk!!! mmmm my cup of cocktail was yummy today... oh cocktail... well its.. umm my secret formula of... a yummy cup of cofee ka chota bhai.. heheh.. wateva u get outta dat!

blaaa neva mind....

yup.... so wat i was yesterday n wat i am today.. wat a difference voila... totally disturbed n lost n upset n messed wid my emotions n moods.. ahh confused, yea dats d rite word( yup those who know bout it would say.. SILLY GIRL!!!!) n today... relaxed... feelin gud...
yesterday i got up wid a thot .. a wish... dat "today(meaning yesterday) finishes realllyy fast" n it actually did... but d difference was... how i came to office n how i went bak home.... my journey to office was like..?!!!!!#???$%#*&^!! n my journey bak home was ------------- now u get it dont u... ! a spectacular site.. very pleasing .. smthin like a full moon.. nah.. not smthin like it.. i think it was a full moon( i say i think cz may be it was jus a lillllll less dan d full moon) neways.. it was beautiful... dark sky.. n a yellowish moon.. smilin at me.. ahh.. how pleasin is dat now!!

its so unbelievable to think dat such things really happen.. u r in such a chaotic frame of mind in d beginning of d day.. n may b by d end of it.. its like.. u've never felt so much at ease, so much in peace before... n its all so gud to think of... perhaps these lil tensions( luk at me... m such a brat.. yesterday it was like a pahaaad(mountain) of troubles n now dat it aint dat way anemore, m callin it.. "lil tensions" heheh m sooooo human :p hehehheh ) are worth it... u know may b.. jus to taste dat peace... dat ease... one can risk these situations( m sure i wudnt agree to this next time whn i feel smthin similar :D...)

hmm well dats bout it fr now i guess.... i;ve got a couple of things to do fr d day... i hope i get its all done on time.... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooommmm! wrappin it up here...!!

adios!!!