Did i tell u i burnt my fingers thinkin of this fella?!!

I am not very sure what kinda feeling this is.... m feelin gud , bad, sad angry... pata nai.. yesterday when iw as heading towards d bus, n after ir eached there... i got a call from Naidu sayin i have to get back. We have a mail from oniste and there are some findings and we need to fix them before today so u have to get back he said. I dint want to, just a lil while ago, before that fone call, we were discussing how hez been behaving with other ppl of the team... i dont know, i just had this wierd adamance that i did not at any cost want to get back and stay late and work ! i had other important things at home to do i said. He insisted on my returning, i told him i'll call back in 5 mins.... i called back and said... i am sorry i cant come. I ahve some important work to do that cant be postponed either and i;v already comitted for the evening so its not possible. He just wudnt listen to me... forget listen... he dint even want to hear what i was saying,, he just went on and on and on saying this is very important and you have to come back... i kept saying i cant help it coz i took some time from you just so that i cud call up n confirm and i did that... so i cant help it.. if i cud.. i wud... dats what i said.. he sitll did'nt lisn... he said this is not the way an engineer works, sometimes you have to stay back and we dont ask you to stay back everyday do v... i replied saying its not a matter of staying back, i did stay back earlier dint i? i asked.. its jsut that i have something more important at home to do... he said see tasneem you are not understanding, this client is very imortant to us, i said i do undstand howimportant his project is for ericsson and how important ericsson is for Wipro, but rite now i just can not come naidu, i said... he still dint lisn to me,,, he said you have to come bak... i just lisned to him, he still went on, n said luk there are somethings for alex for windows and for the images also and if you dont come back it may take us the entire nite to sit and do it, i said i undstand that naidu but i can not come, and he again dint lisn to me, he just dint want to understand anything but that i must come back at any damn cost. and dats wat made me all the more angry, when i am saying therz somehting important, he tells me that everyone has important things to do rite, n i jus said if this was not that important i would come back too, i did stay back earlier when v had a crisis dint i... he dint lisn again!! i cudnt believe i was talking to a manager who turned so deaf towards n employees request, inspite of the arrogance with which he spoke and the silly adamance that he showed.
I dont know, i wasnt really scared if you ask me.... i disliked him even earlier for his behaviour towards my collegues, but even then i'd feel bad of hating him and wud feel not so good for not having respect for someone whoz so much senior to me. c'mon this is'nt me i;d say, however bad a fella woudl me, trust me i;d always luk at atleast one thing he/she had that was gud n wud stop myself from hating them. but yesterday, i dont know.. i sensed a wierd hatred towards him, i reached home... n it was Maghrib time, i was like.. what do i ask for this fello! a little tolerance? some better way to behave, or just to get him off from wherever i belong. i was so confused and angry...
Just then i got a call from a friend n i spoke to her... n i felt much better.. later i spoke to Fariya, i was still confused bout what i had done.. was it rite/rong/ gud/bad/ was i behaving stupidly arrogant?? but then she told me to stop thinking and that what i did was absolutely fine and that one must have it to say 'no' also. i felt much better after that...
then i went do................

its 4.21pm now.. i started riting here in d mornin... but went into duin work... n now m still in d middle of it.. i'll contniue the above part a lil later may b.. but for now... m feelin bad :(... i'll say why... but after i fisnish work... so not publishing untill then....
ok m back... n not in mood to rite...
but i still will... coz i wanna read it later...

all the extra image changes i had done, were all undone when i dint turn up yesterday... it was done with d idea that things will be fine.. n they even thot so n delivered the package.... but this morning whn saw it.. n showed 'em.. they realised there were pixels missing.. and dats when i told them i had already done the changes for this n checked in d files. then? .. all they told me was.. they just tuk the DHT THS images n put them there... ( dat was two days of my work.. 8 hours of which iw as billed) neways... since later they realised their mistake,,, they reverted to the ages i designed... there still was sm error.. but this time just one(obviously coz i had taken care of the rest..) .
in the mean while wheneva there was talk.. i kinda felt.. naidu was ignoring me.. but thn he cudnt help it.. i as d one who was duin it.. he hd no choice.. n he behaved wid me like his normal best, and i was obviously shocked beyond words as to how one can behave with such tremendous change in two different situations that are so closely related!,
anewyas, i requested to make some more changes n gave some ideas n said i wana try them then v'll build it... soumendra said ok.. since v hav no other go.. let's do it... n ya.. this time it wrkd, but again there was one pixel change required, thankfully, it was identifiable and requred another lil thing for me to do and i did it.. n it looked great after dat....
and during all this v had to take approvals from kannan n girish in finland.. n all they knew bout it was, soumendra was doing it, they were on call... n even then whateva changes they'd propose i had some validations to give for that n i;d xplain it to soumendra n v'd realise its not possible n then he was d one who;d again say all dat to them at finland... in short.. the hulla gulla done yesterday impacted to a rong fact potrayed that all d work's been done by him, when i m d one whoz.. damn.... neva mind.. i find myslef lowering my cadre of ability by wanting to highlight it.. but how about fair talk? neva mind..
neways... its finall done.. n I yes.. I did it... n i can atleast proudly say they cudnt do it widout me... u know y i can say dat... coz yesterday they did try it widout me.. n thot they were sucessful until in d morning i showed they wernt... i dont care bout d rest (it dznt matter, coz all those ppl have been good to me so far) but yea.. my manager.. he still dint have one word of appreciation for me.... it definitely was a silly task n difficult to do, but duin it n succeding after so many attempts does'nt even require a good?
after it was built n it looked perfect, soumendra gave n exciting its done tasneem ! .. i liked it.. i thot thank god.. coz i really had no more ideas to try to make it look anything better... n then he told naidu, he just came lukd smiled n said oh finally done ha... thn lookd at me n said.. oh so u moved pixels? i told hiim what i did.. n he said ok .. dats it!
y do they ahve to be like this?
i still dislike him
1. for never appreciating my work
2. for talking rudely to my collegues
3. for behaving arrogantly wid me yesterday.

and if iw anna put that in order, by giving them a rank,,, then i'd put it this way
1. for talking rudely to my collegues
2. for never appreciating my work
3. for behaving arrogantly wid me yesterday.

n yea.. bout dat subject line now... yea.. iburnt the tip of all my five fingers... of the left hand... i boiled n egg, n there was a plate on dat bowl that was on the stove, firt time i as careful to hold dat plate wid a piece of cloth, but d send time whn i remved d egg from d boiling hot water.. i put it in dat same plate, and then as my wierd mind was wandering into thoughts bout that nonsense talk n predicting his today'd behaviour, i just held dat hot plate wid my left hand so i cud hold the egg under water as i ripped off its peal ! n i was careful not to let go d plate coz it would fall down n make a bigg noise n mumma was just in d hall sleeping.... so i carefully put it down(damn a plate on d stove for about 25 minutes! n i was still carefull to put it bak down holding it wid bare hands!!!!) n damn i still have a terribly burning sensation in all my figers of d left hand.. n i;ve been typing since morning too..
aneways... now v gotto go out .. i mean to d cafeteria.... n hez takin us for snaks.. y?? coz the onsite guyz went on vacation n coz dwae n alex got released there... so a lil snack party to offshore too... but dat dznt in any way take my spirits very high.
but yea.. there is a little contending feeling within that says... "they cudn't do without you ;)"

*** Winnie ***

I jus luv his blunt nose n dotted eyes that blink wierdly :D

And Tigger n that wabbitt hehe... n piglet ofcourse... i dont remmber if dat donkey had a name too.. but man was he lazy !!

Jus luk at d way they sleep ova each other, aboslutely relaxed... is there anything in the world except for peace?






And their play time??? lol.. like therz nuthing better than play wid friendzz... silly na.. they vary so much in sizes, but are still together n hav loadsss of fun... n notice one thing.. all of 'em have jus two dots as eyes.. hehehe..

Yea.. n this is one of those.. "We are the Best" pics...

spare NONE when its a question of dignity !

This is goin overboard man!!!.. its so sick to be in a place where therz so much injustice... i realize how hateful the feeling is to be in sich n environment.. n if i feel so sick bout jsut being around, i wonder how the poor guy must be feelin for being a part of it... well .. on the recieving end!! n no wonder hez decided to quit !! n m so glad atleast hez opened his mouth for it atleast now.... i was shocked the oether dya whn Naidu was very rude to Thangaraj n told him things like,, and this is your punishment!.. n even to that this fella dint utter a word... well ok.. what he did was a little silly.. but it did not.. DID NOT at any cost deserve such behavoiur from a manager! it was equivalent to ridiculing the poor guy and not THAT IS NOT FAIR!!!
just a lil while ago.. Naidu came to Thanga's desk and told him bout efforts n stuff.. thanga insisted that he wuld do it.. but naidu wudnt listen.. n he said that you are slow, i;ll help you do it.. thanga dint want help wid it ofcourse.. atleast not his help!! so he kept saying no.. n he even closed the window!! n naidu said.. tell me what is your problem i am trying to help you and you are closing the window... n he replied saying i did ask you earlier htat i had a problem with filling the eoffrts and that they are not being reflected, that time you dint respond.. smthin like that was goin on... i wudnt say i overheard it... it was just too clear to be ignored even if i wanted to... n man i have htis feeling that naidu felt insulted when thanga closed the window.. so he told him a little slowly this time... that he does not know how to behave.. n i went like.. o ooo.. i felt too uneasy n thot i;d just walk away from my desk... but that would make it very obvious that there was too much attention to it... neways... i cudnt help it... thanga wasnt quite this time.. he did agitate although of the size of a miniscule.. but atleast he did... but for once i am glad.. coz when it comes to your dignity... therz no one you should spare !
ok therz still talk goin on inside.. n this time its in d manager's cube.. n i cnt help it.. they are loud.. well ok.. now they are here... but still smthinz goin on...
neways...
i;ve got to move for now.. its gettin late....

Etiquette talk...

Ahh.. just when i thought.. i get a day off.. n can relax wid music n empty my forwards flooded inbox, i get another report to study, with instructions that i start work 'today itself'. When i am in the middle of nothing... coz thats best i like to do :) m told to get along.. n ... well.. schedule things for a new start... hre goes... one mor trajectory coming up on my work graph.. not very sure if thats somehting to rejoice about.. but.. ok.. wateva.. !!

I just wrote this Oscar Wilde quote on my board that reads " Experiance is the name everyone gives to their mistakes" .. hehe no points for guessin who the target is :D :D

I was pissed off when a friend cooked up a dirty joke... well ok. . it wasnt dat dirty.. but i found it sick.. n cheap ! .. n dint like it one bit n so i said it on the face tht i dint like it.. n that if it were a joke it was sick.. n if it want.. then you are sick.. i couldnt help meaning it... coz u get the feeling it gave me.. when you realize the coarsity in my words !.. but does dat mean i need to learn .. well manners? ... well ok.. m open to learning anything new... anthign good... n fine if that could make me shine a little brighter... but hey!!.. y overlook the possibility of the other person being a competent learner of manners when it comes to that! coz.. matter of factly i thot that was ill mannerism too... coz it was bad.. n later was wrapped up in the name of a joke, n whn i express my disgust i need to learn manners? huh! manners to speak is it? or to wirte? or manners to shut your mouth whn you dislike somehting the other says especially when it offends you?!!
ok.. even if i am over doing it ( i dont really think so! .. but this again would mark my "atittude" hell wid it , if its at d cost of one;s dignity!) .. .. even if i assume it were unintentional, and it really was a joke... then y not take my words also in similar spirit in let go.. as smthin said wn angry?! na.. i am supposed to learn a lesson for that.. n dats bout manners.. .. so i gotto get bak after i learn them... i wonder if i would want to get bak !!
the anger isn't coz i i was asked to learn... d anger is coz i was asked to learn for what i said... agree what i said was not correct... ok lisn to this "if that was a joke it was sick, and if it wanst then you are sick" .. obviously.. the latter part is what struck right where it wasnt suppose to... n the damn ego thing also would play a salt sprinkling role... but y overlook the point htat borught that reaction??
neva mind... i thot i'd give n apology.. only for one reason.. that a little age difference.. so may b out of respect ( for being just a little older than me.. [i wudnt misbehave wid very oldies] ) i thought i'd say sorry.. ni also thot.. since therez one person on the face of this earth.. who currently happens to be naraaz wid me... it isnt really givin me a contending feeling... soooo... ummmm... may b .. i will.. but.. meri galti nahiiiiiiiiii hai!!! the reaction was obivous n i dont regret it.. !! but ok.. i shudnt hav said it may b... but y shudnt i have said it??? whn i dotn like what was told to me.. i cn say wat another person would dislike tooo haina? ..
nai? ... y not?!!!
why does one have to be good all the time?!
i dotn like it somtimes!

newyas... since i've speculated enuf.. may b i will drop in a line...

n yea CPI for Soultions.. here comes Tasneem ! :-s

wanna end a little differently aj.... i happen to come across anothe rOscar Wilde's quote.. n wow.. it seemed like he wrote it keepin me in mind :D

" I love talking about nothing. It is the only thing i know anything about "

Ciaoo!

A rainy day at work

A window pane with water drops

one trickles down, and another follows

making my view incredible



oh that was thunder striking again

reminding me, lady.. ur in office forget rain



the two sides of this window show such different worlds

one's so serious that no one even knows

who cares if its raining or its hot or it snows



the other is 'life'.... to me it appeals

for beauty that it offers, or may b just the peace

gud 'ol days....

Sometimes its wierd to see how your feelings tend to take over you... you jus happen to flow with them, to some world, not very alien to you but different enuf to keep up its mysticity.

"rakhloon chupa ke mein tujhe, saath tere mein hi rahun"
I am lisnin to Maula mere from Anwar... dats my all time favourite.. i can lisn to it jsu about anytime.. in any mood.. not really sure what of it appeals so mcuh to me... but since i;ve put dat line here... that feeling of being possessed perhaps has its own good and bads, i am not real sure what guds n bads m talkin pf.. but yea... it jus struk so i put it in....

I see this cloud, moving at a very steady pace, i dont really have to mention that its a beautiful site, but yea.. therez always been this awe to see the clouds move really fast (i;d seen sm documentry on the discovery channel .. n there was this place somewhere on the globe.. where d clouds were "running" yea..... you stand on ground n look up, u see clouds.. rushing... as if they were to catch a train.. duh :D stupid i know.. hehe )
oh... see... now that cloud aint there... looks like its gone to catch... hehe its train.. :D
Oh i see another one moving... but htis one isnt very fast.... n it doesnt really look like a cloud... i mean u know dat cotton candy look....
that reminds me... it was one of our PRP days... n it was dark by d time ur class finished.. we walked out... n we saw this.. hugeeeee yummy looking cloud.. it was soo white( well since it was dark already.. d sky seemd to compliment its look in beautifying it all the more) n it stood jus beside the tower that has the Wipro logo... it lookd awesome... i dnt havea camera fone..s o cudnt capture that.. but yea.. sm of my frndz did.. not sure if they still have it...

hey.... this song agin reminds me... of PRP... those were such nice days yaa.... y is it dat... you always miss whats gone.. n you want it to come back.... i dint really feel at dat time.. that i;d miss PRP days so much.... they were such... ahh.. nice days yaa.. but that time i think i reminisced college days.... y r we soooo human yaaa... ( :D well i think dats d best we can be :D )

i;d doze off in the pl sql class.. dat ma 'am... hehe.. she sorta got to know my name i think... n later there was this sir too... i dnt remmbr his face ... n ya.. d java guy keets n manso liked.. hehe... ahhh.. its jus bout writing bout them n thinkin bout them... n most importantly... smiling about those days...

that Antakshri yaa.. it was soooooo much fun :D ... manso wud jus b excited.. she neva sang !! silly girl... n yea.. d one wid anil.. hehe.. dat was gud tooo.. i tell ya.. he pathertically messess up the lyrics.. specially of the beautiful oldie songss...
n yea.. dat gameeeee.. kya naam tha yaa uska... wt was dattt... ahh how cni frget... d first level was d cherry.. then d orange.. then a green apple... hehe... anil n me took turns for it... n manso n me too sometimes... .. manso some how enjoyd the screeches i;d make whn eating those.. well.. they were jus dots naa.. hehehe... it was sooo mcuh funn yaaa.. kya tha wo game ka naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam!!! damn!

ahan.. anil dropped me a mail sayin therz sm surprise at his blog.. lemme chl dat out...

Adios !!!

Bloggin from... T4/T/C115

okk i;ve got content to put in here!!...Naidu was jsut at my desk... as Thangarajan was mergin all d files.. he came n sat n turned to me n then lookd at Murli n said.. we must have a clear case session ... i turned my chair n zapped, yes we do !! n then he looked at me.. oh ya.. the other day you changed some files n we had a big problem! ( finally.. he had d guts to tell me!! ) n i said.. yes Thangraj told me about it... n then i explained to him that may be there was some problem coz Thangraj saw the very next moning.. n they were all there... but man!! hez such a.. neva mind! .. wont boil.. Thangraj kept saying.. may be we did some mistake in setting the configuration, coz i checkd the fiels n they were lal there.. but he kept saying.. no.. i checked rite.. they were not there ! dats it! i jus lookd at him wid d.. 'say wateva you want to.. i know i dint do anything rong n m not lisnin to you' look !
n then i turned around to my desk again n he walked away! .. wat a reliefff ! atleast i said it to him!
if you really ask em.. since that time.. i;ve kinda lost intrest in work.. n jus a lil while ago iw as tellin my team mate.. i dunno .. its a weeknd.. but i dnt really feel i;ve done sm gud work for this week.. infact i feel i;ve done no work at all.. i mean nuthin constructive n satisfactory... hmmm thinkin of it now.. yea.. i;ve done sm good handling at the BO cases.. its gud to see a mail.. 'thank you it works fine now'..
newayss janedo.. i opened this to rite bout my new cube.. its at a corner.. n view yahan se is better dan the earlier one :)
i think i like it.. :)

my extension wud change too..so new visitin cards?

Perhaps my last one from this cubicle ... yea.. if you wana reach Tasneem.. you gotto head to T4/T/115 instead of 120 ... duhh.. change again... n y m i soo repugnant towards change.. i kn ow its too....
i had moved off frm d page.. had a very long meetin... bohot din baad colg ke din yaad aagaye.. yaad aagya.. kaise soya karte the classes me.. lol yea.. it was a requirement description presntation before the RFST... aaakhri neend aari thi yaa.. sachme.. col yaad aagya... i js heard the stuff after d break... dats sooo usual of me.. i;d lisn to classes after d breakk hehehe...

newasy..m moving to a new desk.. not very far fromt his one.. but yea.. this window... that crane, those clouds... well m still movin to a place near another window... magar wahan se.. pata nai kaisa view hoga... choti choti baatein yaa.. kitni important hoti hain kabhi... bla its fine magar.. b4 d meetin iw as feelin uneasy bout d move.. now m ok... i dunno y though...

whoz idea was it??? ahhhhhhh cmon!!! who else! my Pm.. mr. Naidu.. ppl workin on d same product must be seated closer to each other.. i gues he made dat decission after he realised i n Soumendra keep movint o each others desk quite often.. :D .. well atleast v discuss!!!

neways... not veyr sure... wrk moving also.. n not moving too.. m really not sure of many thigns.. but blaa.. i aitn takin 1 mim bit of tension fr it.. nah. not any more!

n yyea it still has many things to do with whats goin on around.... but... umm.. welll.. i missedit.. i was gonna say smthin... n thn.. i well yea.. missd it..

calo theek hai neva mind...
almost home goin time..

bubye!

tete-a-tete

Ah.. i jus noticed.. that last one was my 101th.. n it dint deserve to be that bad , but i;ve got something better this time.
This conversation i have here.. i thought it really deserved a place on my blog.. so here goes... n hey.. any one who goes by this... please drop in a line or two.. i have'nt really asked for comments earlier.. but yea.. fr this one.. would like to know what else has the world got to give for this sphere of life ...
Here goes..

somehtin else was here.. but wana cut it short.. starting it from where.. i think it would make sense

Boy :Actually u know.. v can get to know bout d person on phone….
If u r wid d person den u might come to know bout him/her….

Girl: I dint really get you… you can get to know d person on phone…? If ur wid the person you get to kno him/her?

Boy: v cant get to know a person on phone…..

Girl: Ok .. then there ends.. I don’t know you..

Boy: Yoh… btw want ur pt of view….
Why stranger comes in our life changes it and go away… they don’t even show their faces….
Is’t God want us to make realize something.. I dint got d funda behind this….

Girl: Ya dats true… people come .. sm stay.. sm go away never to return, but some of them leave a mark.. n you reminisce that all your life..
Everything has a reason I believe.. n all reasons are not within our means of understanding either..
So since He has planned it.. we let it be that way.. coz He surely has a purpose behind it right..

Boy: So watif I need som one who touched my lif and who is no where with me now… I feel lik all alone in this selfish world…
Wat I shud do now….
‘I’ here not refers ME… it’s a situation…

Girl: :) such situations come in life more often than expected, and this is where one must practice patience. If the person touched your life and now is nowhere to be found, the mark that person has left definitely is more than enuf for you to move on in this world that you’d term selfish. If they cant really be the strength in such situations.. then their presence has never mattered,
But since we are too engrossed about thinking that they are gone and are no more with us, we tend to miss out on what they have left for us. They r gone coz something better is coming your way and coz therez no room for anything less than the BEST for you..

Boy: This was good….

Girl: :) ya.. when I read it again.. I thot it was good too….
You don’t really understand things.. unless you share it.. I dint know that ‘this’ is what I think about such situations until I wrote it to u.. :)

The End

well... thats how it ended... i js got d gist of it n put it here.. cuttin out a few things from the top that werent necessary...

hey... noticed smthn? therz more pink than bluee.... you need more proof that girls talk a lot?? hehe... but yea.. therz one more thing to it.. they talk sense too ;)

newayss... dats bout it..

signing off for the day... or who knows.. i mite get bak ;)

so... for now.. Maassalaama !!

He messed up my beautiful morning !

My mood wasn't as bad as now just a few minutes ago ! i am open o criticism and happen to take it well in my stride, and also realise how to get the better out of myself if its in the right spirit, but hell !! doing it behind my back and not on my face ! what a Loser!!! yea.. m talkin of my manager Naidu! n i hate him today ! just one extra bit of hatred, and dat bit has a humugous size ! , i was ill, had fever, so dint come on friday .... monday mornin, dats just a lil while ago, i waas feelin so good to get back to work, i dont know what made me feel that good, i was really looking forward to doing some good work and heading home satisfied... but this MAN ! is sick !! i am not doing it behind his back.. i would;nt mind if he;d even read this !! i care a damn! but this is true n this is what m feeling for him right now !

My friends told me ( i had first written the name, then removed, i dont really wana put sm1 else into truoble! but howi wish naidu gets to know dat i blog n he stumbles into this page! may b not today.. may b smtime ever in his life, n then he;d realise that after 10 years of work at wipro.. he still had a just fresher talk this way about him... ( apart from the others who know him enuf ! ) ) ya.. so i was told,, Tasneem you were the tlak of the project on friday.. i just looked n asked.,,, umm .. good or bad? ... i was told... what do you expect from these peaople... i said bad..... i was given n affirmation for dat ! n i walkd out for cofee with safa... n i told her too.. for all my hard work.. this is wat i get.. i tell u.. its annoyingly frustrating, .. i know all ppl are'nt bad... when Srimant was there.. i;d do even a very little thing, he woul give me such a nice, 'very good' or when i;d say i dont know if i can do it.. he would give such a confident smile with a ' i know you can do it' ... that would make me do it ! i remmber.. even when he gave me a whole requirement to handle.. i just looked at him and he said... common you made the proposal, and you know about it, you did the estimation too... you can do it... i just smiled, at dat time i knew he was going... even later, when it was his second last day.. he'd come to me n asked how is it going... n i showed him what i did.. and he said.. veryyy goood... you are almost done, and you were simply worried... then i had told him.. i still have Alex for windows to do na Srimant, and he said.. that is very simple when compared to this, you will do it.. and you have a lot of time ( that time i hd about 20 days in hand )... all i mean to say is... whn you are appreciated for what you do, you feel like doing it better, sometimes you really dont know you can do it, unless someone tells you .. you can... you know when Debraj was leaving too, iw as with Srimant and he was showing me somehting, he had come to Srimant's desk and he told me... you are the most promising member of the Alex team now.. it embarassed me a little, coz i did nothing by then,. i had just smiled, and he then told said yes.. you are giving good solutions you all will take care he had said... i js smiled again..
It seems... Naidu was in high spirits on firday yelling about what i did... i messed up the gif files it seems.. hell! did anyone bother to tell me or guide me how to do it?? NO !.. did anyone bother to come n check.. knowing that project is in new hands, did anyone wana know howz the flow? NO ! DAMN! the developers were worried, there was no plan, there was a whole module, whoz code flow NOBODY NOBODY knew!!! and what at this time should the manager do when the developer would go and express their concern over it?.. you know waht i was told? whn i went and said... ia m having a really bad time with Alex for windows.. i dont understand what to do? DAMN.. he just told me... ' try' ... dats it ! even till the end .. he dint get to us... n then when there was may b a week.. Kannan happened to realise n he got into it.. n v had soem talking done to realise how bad d status was.. n we further workd.. getting it to a leel where it was in deliverable state! it was at last moment that he realised n started working with Thangarajan... n even in the middle of that.. NAidu went to the extent of blaming Srimant and Debraj !! n how modest is that for a PM to do??? he speaks ill of those members of the team who worked so hard and did so much, and now that they are gone, he blames them for having messed it up before they left!?!! what could i expect from him??? never did i hope for a word of appreciation from him never! and i never will...
I did'nt delete any files int he main, i;ve worked just in the dev branch, all the gif files, i dint wana lose them. i took care that i;d hav a back up and apart formt hat instead od deleting them i renamed them, if i've done rong, i'll accept it... you hell blame me for wht i have not done.... i care a damn speaking and questioning about it to ANYBOD Y !!! and no this is'nt ATITTUDE!! this is what required to be shown when ppl mess with your dignity !
it seems he discussed all that with Kiran( the onsite guy) .... i always felt he had n idea of what i can do.. and what kinda work i do.. i dont know.. but now.. i dont even want to know ! earlier i thought.. yea.. Alex is MY module, i will work for its excellence, if smthiin would be messed up, i;d be worried, i;d share this with Soumendra, he would say dont worry so much... when the build wasnt ready on time.. i was worried, i felt bad for not having finished on time( not my part... d other one's ) but still... neywas... NOW I CARE A DAMN! A DAMN A DAMN A DAMN!! if he comes and questions me.. i'll answer him... else let him bear with the MISTAKES he claims i ahve made !!
and for now.. m gona put my music on again.. n carry on with the lil enhancements that were mentioned in the mail i got on friday.. n yea.. sm bo cases tooo.. magar ab .. no way m i gona take this stuff seriously... they;ve seen the good of me... if they emss wid me.. they'll have to see the bad of me too... n my bad wouldnt show out ! i'd still do it with dignity !

My Hundredth

what else could i ask for.... its d purrrfect weather i;d wana rite in... a relieved mind.. a peaceful heart.... a dhinchak song list on... 'LeKiN' moooooooood nai hai yaarooo ! :D yawn..... yea its my 100th, so.. gotto be special? hmm yea... lets c now... wat'd i do on my 100th birthday? mmm may b pack my bags for my final trip to my ultimate abode ;), hmm wat'd i do on my 100th mistake? :D prepare well... for the 101th? hehe... mmmm wat'd i do for my 100th friend?.. nah bad count.. i wudnt be able to keep trak of dat ;) ... hmmm at else cn go till dat 100th thing? i dnt really remmber wat i did on my 100th day at work... lets c noww... 100th day... meaning... 4th sept 2006 se 100 workin days... must hv been smtime in december mid.. or almost end nai? .. mmmm then i was still with Avaya... or who knowz.. it must hv been dat very day i mved to Ericsson?! pata nai.. not really in calculation mood....

The tip of my nose is freezing pata hai!! its soooo cold in here ! ...

Its awesomely beautiful outside, the perfectly romantic weathr, the perfect weather for a walk ALONE, the perfect weather for a family picnic, the perfect weather for a day out in the greens wid friends, the perfect weather to play with ur nephew/ niece/ any cute kid/ any kid ;) out in d open... the perfect weather to js watch through a huge window, the perfect weather to write... the perfect one to lisn to really fast music, the perfect one to lisn to rafi / Lata/ Kishore.. or even Jagjit for that matter..... it seems to possess the perfection to remind you of what you loved to do, to remind you of those lovely days in college with friends, to remind you of long talks that usually began with silence, ended with silence... n in the middle.. there was silence :)... to remind you of d time you had in your sister's wedding... to remind you of just about anything pleasant.......hmmm may be its just the perfect weather to perfect one's day :)

L.I.F.E - i had once asked someone what it was to them ( dnt looka t me like dat.. i usually ask wierd stuff to wierd or not so wierd ppl hehe :D ) i dunno.. its a very vague memory m tryin to recollect here... i think i had said.. its all about Learning.. it begins wid it atleast.. n carries on.. until.. wel i dont know when... neways... i was told... ( i dont really remmber who m talkin of yaa.. i js remmber i dint like d person.. but i did like d anser though... ) ya.. so the L in it is Life itself n the E of it is the End of it... duh.. it seemd like.. mmm wo!! to me at dat time.. i was.. well quite young i think... blaa.. neva mind... js wanted to log it.. did it ;)

hmm wil be right bak !!
sachme bohot sardi hori yaa.. m kaanping ... umm dat means shivering..

was off fr lunch.... but m sil feelin cold... i think feverish too.. mummyy hona meku..

Software Engineer ki Dua ;)

Well i cudnt resist puttin this up here... this innocent wish cmz in every s/w engg. 's heart.. m so damn sure!!

lol... neways... check out dis movie .. by d end of it.. i realised.. there wz a a tear waitin to get outa my left eye... it ended jss at d rite time.. so bachgaya(d tear) :D

Aj is... Environment day.. it seems (yea i dint know.. ) n so we had this thing to go out n plant sm jhaads.. umm ok.. paudhe ( if dat sounds any better :D) well i js meant plants..dint wana rite.. plant sm plants.. cz i cudnt rite plant trees.. cz plants grow into trees na.. so u plant plants n plants grow into trees... urrghhh.. neva mind!!.. i put two of 'em inplace :) .. it was.. umm well good to b away frm desk.. n under d sun.. muddy hands n all.. thodi der ke liye hi sahi... wz nice :)
came morning.. n i saw a list of mails frm Kiran.. AT findings (already?!?!) n two fell into my basket.. so had to fix thm.. n wz worried bout it.. so dint get to safa fr cofee.. but they wernt major bugs... fixed thm n forwarded a mail intimating dat d wrks dn n d build cn be ready fr a test for those finidngs.. n abhi tak to kuch nai kare.. so.. i aint duin much.. hey.. d song list hz exhausted.. wait.. lemme play smthin.. oh no.. i had paused it.. to lisn to dat movie.. :D

kuch dhang ke gaane nai hai yaa.. i dint like Jhoom baraabar jhoom all dat much.. they were.. well... blaa... !
those other ones i was lisnin to yesterday.. yea d guy i said who sounded like Atif Aslam... na.. it wasnt him... sm new Pakistani singers.. their album name's Raeth.. good collection... i js loved Akela hun mein .. and Bhulado those wer sent to me by a frnd who happnz to kno my song taste well :)... to0 gud yaa.. luvly compositions.. the otherz in d album wer okie dokie..

To phir aao...

If its difficult to say something... then you know wat its gotto be??.. d damn sickening feelin one has bout terrifying work experaince... n if it easy to say something... THEN you know wat it is??? well its the peace one feels when dat phase has passed.. relief.... yea.. i know wat dat thing really meansss! :) n you know wat keeps tickling n flickering the silly mind at this time?! ahh.. well its... d thought dat this feelin has a short life.. but again.. after that you know wat wraps it all up to give you a better feelin...hhmmm... the " abbe frget it yaar.. abhi ke liye to jeelo" attittude at this time:) n m so glad i have it ;)

mannn i missed this place.... i've had like.. a bad bad time .. n now n ok ok time dat seems like heavenn.. you know its wierd dat a million things keep happening in your life n its so difficult to decide what to pay attention on.... but hey.. prioritizing things in life.. is such a necessity.. you mess dat up.. n u see yourself goin throu it all.. alone!.. n your d one to b blamed han.. but yea.. whats important n wats not so important.. wats ok.. n wats not ok... wats right n wats rong... is o important to find out... n keepin in mind dat they really are important.. it isnt dat you can actually spend a set amount of time deciding n prioritizing.. dat too is js suppose to cm .. well .. in the flow of life.... little things ya... they all make up life.. but.. each of these lil lil thngs.. are such king size biggies if you mess ;em up... silly na.. .. hmm yea..

hmm i dunno who this guy is.. familiar voice.. but cant figure out who it is.. Atif aslam ka hi hai shayad.... nice song but... very high pitch.. nice one yaa.. its gud dat d saddie songs too are cmin up all loaded aj kal.. well yea d Atif aslam ishtyle ;)

aj i aint gna work.. one bit.. hopefully.. although i;ve already got naidu'z mail askin Tharak for a test plan fr Alex.. n i kno i gotto fx d bugs.. but. duh! hell wid it!!!

todays gona b my day.. my music.. my mails my fwds.. my pieces of riting.. sab mine mine mine.. today is a lil.. wierdy kinda day.. dnt ask me y.. i aint tellin ya.. n i kno wn i read this later i aint gna remmber y i calld it wierdy.. so.. its ok..

i had so much to pen down u know.. so much of ponderin over dat i did.. my lil gatherings of silly htoughts n my dumb musings.. but i cudnt belive i dint hav dat time in hand... it wud hardly take me few minutes to put it here. but trust me.. i know what its like when they say.. i dont have time.. i smtimes wud give wierd luks wn i was told that they dont have time.. i guess i;ll sympathise with 'em nxt time anyone tells me dat.. :D

In such times.. or rather after such times.. when you get this lil time fr thigns you like to do... thats wat defines ecstacy.. i feel like m havin one of those yummy Barista muffins js outta d oven dat melttttt in your mouth .. geee hehe...

n hey.. friday was gud.. i was cribbin all d while... butit wsa nice.. i reachd home.. n Sam bhai was js leavin wid Rehan n my sisters to take 'em fr a drive.. n my sisters insisted i;d join .. although i was hell tired.. trust.. i was feelin like a towel that they squeeze to drain out all d water before they dry it under d sun.. yea.. my energy level wr down to dat extent !! but then i joined ;em .. n it was gud time.. it was full moon nite.. yea.. d yellow mooon.. iw as cribbin how i hated this time at wrk n baj kept sayin..i js need a break.. .. i'd open my mouth.. n it wud be fr cribbin.. n she;d yell.. godd.. dont sound dat frustrated tas.. n i;d be quiet then.. :D .. neywas.. i thn v moved fr dinner.. n it was gud.. n thn got bak home.. .. n sat was ok.. not much.. i was tierd.. i felts good bout not feelin tierd.. i felt good i was bak to my normal cookin n mum yellin.. n dad shoutin... n me js noddin ;) :D.. n they again bein fine hehe..

ahh.. ok! a bug! i know i said i wudnt.. but.. mera hi kam hia.. :( .. y d hell m i such a gudy!!

chalo bye.. i think i;ll get bak here.. n yea m still gona hav my songs on.. n i aint gona take thse damn bugs seriously.. fix hua to hua.. nai hua too.. phutoooooooo!!!!