a fluttering mind..

wouldnt say i am sick of life
perhaps its just that m goin through a strife

sometimes when your hating it all
you keep building and all it does is fall

thats when they say we must hold on
to what? i wondered.. may be just untill its gone

you know it will move, it does'nt have a choice
but thats again the time you have the most painful voice

its frustrating to see plans thwart
but hey.. i was told, thats also an art

lets see what the new day has to bring
its all planned up there, winter or spring...

mehkaaiye... zulfon ki shaam

You know how beautiful it is outside today?! ahh.. ia int gona work one bit aj... not in d mood.. jssss not in d mood.. n i care a damn.. jo hoga.. dekhlinge.. n u know wat else? i am .. dam damn damnn sleepy abhi...u shud luk at my eyes..

aj apna bilkul mood nai hai kaam ka!... i;ve ut on rafi's oldies... waadiyan mera daaman... raaste meri baahen... jao meo mere siwa, tum kaha jaoege.. full volume pe... ab koi aake saamne thairke kuch pooche tak fursat! apun nai sunre aj kuch bi... yawnnnnnnnn... m sooo sleepy na yaa mmmmm..

neways.. yest was very nice ALhmdulillah... once again.. a gr8 day .. i cut 4 cakes !! :D yea.. this is n all time high!!.. two at ofice... two at home... hmm ya.. d first one was a lil team get together.. d second one.. frndz at work... third one.. col frndz popped up.. iw as soo surprised... actually.. they thought i was expectin them... well i perhaps wud incase i;d reach home early.. i got late yesterday.. took d 7 ka shuttle.. n was home by 7.50 or so.. n i was hell tired.. js went upstairs changed n it was Isha time so thot.. namaz padke ludak jaatun.. i js finished namaz n was walkin outa my rroom.. n Far n Ash.. go.. HAPPY BIRTHDAYYYY .. n i was like.. eeeee.. kahanse aagaye tum log ?? lol.. yea.. n then v cut d cake n v had sooooo many thigns to talk about it js 25 minz.. ya it was gettin late na.. 8.30 already so they had to rush home too... neways... thn they left... n i went downstairs.. n another cake was waitin fr me.. i went like.. ahhh all smiels but obviosuly... mmmmm... i cudnt eat it kal magar... i hope smthin is left by d time i reach home aj.. .. hmmm aur.. mummyyy meku abhi bhi neend aari... i hav sm things to do dekho.. magar nai hota merse.. i really m too sleepy yaa.... m gona do lazy work aj.. i dont wana work ajjj

tuu is tarah se meri zindagi mein shaamil hai... tu is tarah se meri zindagi mein shaamil hai... jahan bhi jaaun ye lagta hai.. teri mehfil hai.. tu is tarah se meri .. zindagi mein shamil haii..

(music )

kya yaaaaaa

ye aasmaan ye baadal ye raaste ye hawaa.. ye aasmaan ye baadal ye raaste ye hawaa... har ek cheez hai apni jagah thikaane se ... kaeen dinon se shikaayat nahi zamaane se...
ye zindagi hai safar .. tu safar ki manzil haii.... jahan bhi jaun ye lagta hai teri mehfil hai... tu is tarah se meri zindagi mein shali hai...

( music)
hmm nice song naii.. :)... n u kno wat.. i think i got mosttttt of my

tere baghair jahan mein koi kami se thi.. tere baghair jahan mei.. koi kami se thi.... bhatak rahi thi jawaani andheri raahon mein.... sukoon dil ko mila.. aake teri baahon meinnn
mein ek khoi hui mauj hun.. tu saahil hai... jahan bhi jaun ye lagta hai... teri mehfil hai..
tu is tarah se meri zindagi mein shaamil haii...

(music)

ya.. so iw as sayin... i got soo many calls yest u know.. jinke nahi expect kari thi.. wo bhii

Tere jamaal se raushan hai.. kaaenaat meri... tere jamaal se raushan hai kaaenaat meri....
meri talaash teri dilkashi rahe baaqi.. khuda kare ke ye deewanagi rahe baaqi
teri wafaa hi meri har khushi ka haasil hai... jahan bhi jaun ye lagta hai... teri mehfil
tu is tarah se meri zindagi mein shaamil hai

(musi)
Too gud yaa.. luvly song!!

han so all in all it was a very nice day... hey.. lo.. gaana bhi khatam hogya... next one starts... hehe.. ayee haaaaayeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..... u know wich one??? " ye jo chilman hai.. dushman hai hamariii" lol...

han so i was talkin of calls... all my frnds except a few.. calld :) was glad.. very glad :) n got my mails n greetings.. allll in place..

oyee hoyeeeee.. u know wich one nowwwww... likhe jo khat tujhe... wo teri yaad mein hazaron rang ke nazaaare ban gayeeee... :)

blaaa
meku kam karna dil nai bolra dekho aj.. :( meink ya karunn :)

iske lyrics bhi bohot acche hai u know.. beautiful... i tell ya... d yester year stuff is js smthin outta dis world.. its got this very diffrnt class yaa..
i think i;ll replay it... ruko

likhe jo khat tujhe wo teri yaad mein hazaaron rang ke nazaare bangaye
likhe jo khat tujhe wo teri yaad mein hazaron rang ke nazaare bangaye
sawera jab hua to phul bangaye jo raat aayi to sitaare bangye... likhe jo khat tujhe :)

(music)

koi naghma kahin goonja.. kaha dil ne.. ye tu aai...
kahin chatki kali koi.. mein ye samjha tu sharmaai...
koi khushboo kahin bikhri.. laga ye zulf lehraai...

likhe jo khat tujhe wo teri yaad mein hazaaron rang ke nazaare bangaye
likhe jo khat tujhe wo teri yaad mein hazaron rang ke nazaare bangaye
sawera jab hua to phul bangaye jo raat aayi to sitaare bangye... likhe jo khat tujhe :)

(music)

fizaa rangeen adaa rangeen.. ye ithlaana .. ye sharmaana
ye angdaai ye tanhaai.. ye tarsa kar chale jaana
banadegaa nahi kisko.. jawan jaadu ye deewaana :)

likhe jo khat tujhe wo teri yaad mein hazaaron rang ke nazaare bangayelikhe jo khat tujhe wo teri yaad mein hazaron rang ke nazaare bangayesawera jab hua to phul bangaye jo raat aayi to sitaare bangye... likhe jo khat tujhe :)

(music)

jahan tu hai.. wahan mein hun... mere dil ki.. tu dhadkan haii...
musafir mein.. tu manzil hai... mein pyasa hun.. tu saawan hai..
meri dunya ye nazre hainn.. meri jannat ye daaman haii...

likhe jo khat tujhe wo teri yaad mein hazaaron rang ke nazaare bangayelikhe jo khat tujhe wo teri yaad mein hazaron rang ke nazaare bangayesawera jab hua to phul bangaye jo raat aayi to sitaare bangye... likhe jo khat tujhe :)

(music)

well dats bout it :)
i really dont wana get outa this whole mood aaj.. :) :( m not sure wich one to use.. hehe

heyyy another gud one...
chalkaayen jaam.. aaiye.. aapki aankhon ke naam.. honthon ke naam... lol..nah i aint gona start of againnn....
yawnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

(: Happy Birthday Tasneem :)

heyyy u know who called js noww????
Mal bhai :)
m soooooooo sooo soo so ooooo happpy.. I was more than surprised! it was a wierd no. i pikd d fone.. he said as salam alaikum.. i said wa alikum as salam.. then he said happy birthday.. i said thankyou n i kept askin kaun bolre.. he dint say anythn.. n i asked again n again.. n he went like.. arre bhai door daraas se bhi karte logan call.. n i still dint get the hint !! n then he finally said.. MAlik bolraun.... n i wwetn.. wattttttt?.. then i went woowww Malik bhai.. thank ou so much for calling.. n v spoke fr about 7 8 mins.. ahh howwwwww sweeeetttt of him yaa !!
u know hez one persn i admire.. not really sure for wat but ya.. hez n absolute goody :) n my frndz know it.. as soon as he put d fone down i calld up Fariya.. n told her.. guess who js called.. n my voice said it all she said.. ya i can guess very easily.. Malik bhai call kare toich aisa bolte tum.. lol.. Hez one of my seniors
n hey.. i frgot to mention... well its... dat very day.. 23 May... way back in 1985 i was born on the same day!! wooww.. bohot time hogya nai.. lol heheh... yup.. its my birthday.. n my day is movin well.. .. i've got chocolates at my desk... wo kya haina.. hamari team ka tradition sort hai .. dat its ur birthday so mithai baat te ( how boring ) but nah.. i neways forgot yesterday that it was my birthday aj( not unusual eh !) n so i dint buy any mithai yest.. n mornin me mere koi chacha ki dukaan nai hai itni subah subah kholne (:D) so.. i came js like dat.. n then got sm choclates frm d cafe./. umm diary milk n kitkat precisely.. n they are here at my desk.. thode se bache hain :D

newaysss.. me d happies.. dat TR i started work on.. hehe dats done too! yestday i thot it wasnt done... i js executed it again.. its fixed :D.. so js n analysis report to go now...

hmm messgaes since 12 last nite.. Ishhhh ka msg was first :) then my sister n my cousins in line.. :) but d silly thing is.. i chkd 'em all in d mornin :D .. n thats whn i remmbrd.. oh yesss... waise anil did remind me yesterday.. magar shaam tak i frgot again.. else i;d take smthin on my way home kal hi.. neva mind.. ! chocoz.. bache to sabbbbbbb mere :D heeheh:D

wishes pouring in :) from unexpected callers too.. m so glad... n feel so blessed.. i really have so many people to whom i matter ( no.. m not pointin at d fact dat only those who r gona wish me aj are the onez i matter to.. ) neways.. i got quite a few.. strangerz wishes too.. welll wiproites hi hain bhaii.. so... na.. wnt call 'em strangers naiii. :S.. n no i aint gona make a fuss if any of my frndz dont call me ... may b by day end i;ll call ;'em n remind 'em :D ( hehe.. it js proves ya.. apni ich category ke hai ye log bolke :D .. n they wont get mad at me whn i dont wish ;em either :D)

:D mein isme se ek chocolate khalun? :D
kitkat? :D
:D :D
ok m havin it.. hehe

chalo bye...
wil probably get bak here .. may b by day end... else.. tomoro mornin definitely... cz dis is jssss d beginning od my day....

smhow i dunno.. my birthdays hav been special... i wud start off wid.. "nothing " to do.. n by day end... smthin so mcuh wud happen dat i;d be surprised.. huh.. ye kaise hogya.. n all dat wud leave me smilin:)

When you have that Hand shading you.. and such beautiful people around you... u are assured to have a gud day :)

Massalaama !

newyas... dat analysis doc to go.. n may b i'll chk in dat code.. n then.. yea... ahh bhulgayi !

cotton candy.. :)

u know how beautiful the sky looks from here? those cotton candy lukin clouds, making thir way though that serene fullness of blue that spreads over endlessly... ahh.. n this beauty to my eye.. was just .. a microsecond away... you know why... coz i was jus too engrossed inw ork.. n dint realise.. that just lifting my eyelids by a distance of 2cm. i can witness such beauty that would make me feel the calmness it has to offer...
hmmmmmmmmm yea.. little things tend to sober you down in the most hectic of moments.. d only bad part is.. most of the time you miss out on these... n i missed out on these since more than a month now i guess... smhow my eyes fell on it today.. n i realised it hardly took any time.. but made me feel much better to continue wid .. yea .. work !

hey... wil get back here again !
hv a lil discussion fr now..

Phantoms of Reality..

I look at my right, and what do i see
that beam of light, reaching out to me

I look at my left, and what do i see
a grey cloud that seemed kept, with a silver lining and gleam

I stood beneath what they call sky
thats home to birds, with ecstasy they fly

To reach the zenith, without any care
To live till they die, without any fear

I hear those drops as they fall down
Piercing out of that cloud and all its bound

The splash that it makes in that puddle of water
Losing its identity, from a drop to a wholsome body of water

I see nature showz me contrasts too
Its not just life that shows me a few

When its humid and hot and summer all through
You never know which eve would show you those drops of dew.

Gosh!! i really had to think to give this a title !!

Good Morninggggggggggg !!

Oh yea... a good one in the very true sense of it !! :)

i had n immensely irritating end of day (yesterday) .. yea.. Kannan( my PM) came over n v were discussing the release.. n i expressed my concerns about Alex for windows, the nth( remmba d 1, 2, 3..... n where n tends to infinity.. huh.. v used to do all dat in limits in math nai?? ) time !! n surprisingly.. this time it dint fall on deaf years... he asked me what do u think v should do... i said m tryin my best.. n hav;t lost hope.. stil wrkin on it... not dat it dznt work.. but yea.. its very messy.. i told him that... n he gave me pity looks.. n then i told him i ws js riting a mail to Debraj just now... may b he can say smthin that would help... n then Kannan said.. do uw ant to talk to Srimant? i said yea( he must've noticed that extra gleam in my eyes.. (Srimant is d only name dat could relax me when therz trouble with Alex !! ) neways... he said u carry on.. i'll se wat v can do.. n then he went n made a call n called me over.. n spoke to Srimant.. he laughed a lil.. n then i tld him what i had done n how it was behaving.. n dat damn heap error!! crtCheckmemory() crap ! man i hated it !! n then he asked what all i did.. n he told me.. then he said ur gettin that .. coz therz one more place where u gotto change the constant value... n i told him.. i've looked m not sure where... n he was awarre that its my first time with Alex for windows... then he asked me transfer the call to my desk.. n i took it over frm there. n then i gave him sm hints.. n he hinted me on smthings.. n bingo!! i found a value that genuinely required change!

heyy!! it even works well when i compile in d debug mode!! yippy!!

oh yea... back to where iw as... so i changed that value.. n was hoping n prayin it would work.. srimant had hung up.. after lisnin to my thank youz ( u know how i'd go wn m greatful ! ) n my damn damn damn system hung up!!! yea.. iad to restart n u know wat time it was then? .. it was 5.55 .. n i had a cross 5 mins or at d most 10... n i had to give that odc decor day ka bill to a girl on my way to d bus bay..... so i js compiled it n run .. n it seemd to wrk well.. i was surprised but obviously!! n thot i dint chk propoerly.. ni cudnt miss d bus either... so i rushed.. .. pushed everythin on my desk.. into my drawer n rusheddd.... i gave that bill to d girl.. n on my way kept wonderin.. was that true? i mean did i see it run well???
n suddenly.. i realised... my purse seems lighter than usual... hmm y is dat i wondered! n whn i digged into it.. to get my pass... i saw i dint have my wallet in there!!!!!!! damn.. where;d i leave it!! ...was it on my desk.. if i;ve left it there.. its gone fr evaaa.. n i;ve got money my debit cards my pan card.. my keys.. a million things in there!! all importanttt!!! n so i rused back... ( u know how long i have to walk to get back to my towerrr!! ) sheesh! it was bad.. n then all d way to d thrid floor( i got d lift luckily!! ) n then chked.. it wasnt on my desk.. then my drawer.. yeaaa.. it was in d secnd one... took it n rushhhhedddd back !!! n i almost almosttttt missed it !!!

neways... i had'nt got my fone recharged snce 5 6 days... yea.. lack of time!!! silly reason nai? but a true one indeeed... so i got that 75 ka tariff voucher.. that gives you a 49p/min to other mobiles n 30/p to hutch numberss... n another one for talktime... i went home.. changed.. n yea.. i had to call manso... first i had to call Shaalini( heyyy i heard shez gettin marrrieeeddd :) ) yea.. so i checkd dat number n recharged.. n know wat happende!!! hell damn hutch! i hate ittttttt.... on that 75 recharge thing.. iw asnt suppose to get any talktime.. but was suppose to have my tarriff rates changed.. but that dint happen!! what happened wassss.. i got a message sayiin thank you for recharging with 10rs. ur account has been credited with.. 8.. chillar.. n i went crazyyy... first i thot ook mistake.. i'll make a call n chk.. n wn i did.. it still cost me d same amount/min.. there was no change in tariff!! n i could damn do nuthin nuthin nuthinnnnnn bout it!!! n kept callin that cust care guy!! n finally gotto talk to one.. n he tells me.. ur data isnt reflected in our system madam.. plz get back later!! hellllllll ! i hate HUTCH FOR THIS!!!! n no i aint gona leave it dat way... gona call 'em again n sure will c to it that smthinz done!!


ahh off wid all dat... d point was... dat the morning is a good one.. n it is dat way.. coz i looge din.. n chekd again.. it really workss!!! :) n yea.. not js d release mode( dats wat Naidu suggested me to get rid of sm memory errors !) but also in d debug mode :)

pheww!! after long han.. nice to b back here.. wil go fill my bottle now n will get back to work sipping my cocktail.. n i got sm really gud songs to hear yest.. will carry on wid 'em :)

dum dum da dum dum da diiiiiii :) ( lol.. dats coz i dont know how to whistle :D )

i hope m not off this place for long now ;)

adioss!!

Ye safar bohot hai kathin magar....

Dil naa ummeed to nahi..
naakaam hi to hai....
lambi hai gham ki shaam...
par shaam hi to hai....

wah wahh.. kya baat hai nai!!!
courtesy: 1942 A love story

Stealing a lil time for myself

oh yea... dats exactly wat m duin.... i;ve never experianced being this busy... i hardly have time for anything anything any damn thing at all.. n sadly that includes what i love to do... how much i miss this place... jus last nite i was wonderin.. 'hum kis gali jaa rahe hain.. apna koi thikaana nahi' yea... that song is so much in sync with the current situation of my life... ! a few couplets were lingerin around my mind n i wanted to pen 'em down.. but :( i dont have the damn time!... wherz it goin...? isnt it suppose to be all mine...??? then how come i find nothing left for me ? :(...

yea i know m gona read this later.. n laugh again.. magar abhi? abhi ka kya? u know how pissed off i am??? m so pissed off that m typing so well widout any damn mistake.. n m hardly using the backspace key for anything... yea... i;ve have;nt atleast since i;ve started this post!! seee!! see dattt!!

lol yea.. newys... i jus hope hope hope.. n wish wish wish.. it goes well.. i know i shudnt take it all this way.. but yea.. the Tasneem that i am.. i jus aint use to anytihng less than good .. n i dont know y... so m kinda workin towards it... not that i dont tend to lose it in the middle of it... i jus go haywire n cranky.. n feel like yellin.. ( at d computer :D) lol yea.. but i dotn have a choice do i? its my work.. i have to do it :9 jus that i dint realise that time that it would be this way.... i dint realise when makin that estimate document... that i've alotted myself almost half the time of whats required.. n thats y i see myself left wid almost more than half d work whn d timez almost up.... therz so much to do...

but i know it has to finish... not that m expectin anythin good from finland.. infact m damn sure they r gona have a million things to say... arre bhai.. bacchi ke haath me dunya dediye to pareshaan nahi hogi kya???
abhi bhugto !!!
lol yea... dats gona be their condition!!
n d bad thing is ... althoug i informed Naidu that i aint goin very well wid alex for windows.. coz its d first time m workin on it.. n ire laly dont get d damn thing.. all he had to offer me.. was a word... ahh yea.. a thoughtful one haan... "Try" yea... dats all he told me... ! n i hated him for it.... it really wud be gud if he'd spend sm time helping me wid it.. magar naiiiii.. unko xcel sheets n outlook se fursat mile tooo naaaaaaaa !!!!

m neva gona be a pm!! i dont like 'em onee bit !

n yea.. did i mention.. that in d past few days.. i;ve thought of quitting wipro.. more than a 100 times.. out of whihc 80 times.. i was really really serious?!#$%^&*!!

signing off for longggggggggggggg
:) ... it cud'nt b widout a smile ! :)

(: N :)

I



























AM























VERY






























VERY



























VERY





























HAPPPPPPYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY































i jus wanted to shout really loud... but since i cant do it here at work... thot i;d put it this way :) :)



bubyee! :)

wait til u read this!!!

I wasnt in the mood of lunch... was goin through one of those many many .. ' not so ok ' work days.... so js hurried to d cafe after namaaz.. n gave my frndz company... n ya tuk a spoon or so ( wel ok.. may be a lil more than that.. ) n finishd lunch.. n our silly talks... n really really really wanted to eat a fruit n nut ( u know wat??? Ashwini asked m... what fruit n nut??? can u belive taht!!!! i asked her to jump off that floor!!) choclate yaaa.. cadbury kaa.. dairy milk ka bada sa sweet sa bhaii.. lol ok behen!! newayss... n yea.. uski bhi kuch sharten thi.. i wanted to have the whole thing widout sharing it wid any1... n aisa to nai hosakta wn u hav pppl on d table.. they;d grab it frm me :D .. n d other hting was.. i wanted it to b gifted.. not dat i dint wana buy one fr myself... magar gift kiya gaya choclateee.. :D.. dats got a diffrnt taste all together... ab mere dostan... itneeeeeee acche hote to kya baat thiiiii ( :D :D) ... neways... chucked the plan.. walked down to head towards.. well.. to head here... n who do i see on my way... Sowjanya!!!! she was in in my earlier team.. n last i heard of her.. she had gone to d US.. n she went like hiiiiiiiii.. n so did i... n gues uske hath mein kya tha????? CHOCOLATESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS... hehehe... n but obvious.. i was offered... n i was very gud enuf to take just one!!.. :D magar yummmyyy thhaaaa... caramel inside.. n choclate coated.. mmmmmmm mmmmmm.. it was a small one.. magar very richhh :)
mazaaa aagya!!!
nonetheless.. i jus wanted to say He always has that extra Hand of his shading me :) i think of it.. n its there for me... i cant thank Him less. :)
n so m not gona crib bout how my work is goin bad... i know its gona go well.. may b after a while... n He just gave me a sign tellin me... i just need a lil more perseverance.. n may b i shall conquer it ( hehe bhaari words hai.. conquer!!!.. hey.. but this damn thing aint any less for me.. it would literally mean "conquering" if m through with this.. abhi bacchi hun yaaa.. aisa kaam karwaye to mera kyaaa hogaaaaa!!!!! )

ok chalo bye! :D