Integrity bluezZzZ

I dont know why he said that, and i dont know why he was looking at me while he said it.. We were revising the implementation proposal for the fourth time i guess, it was suggested that i shud restructure the estimates without deducting any hours. I already thought mine was n exaggerated estimate ( n yea i was asked to revise it n cut it down, then again someone else cut it further down.. but somehow its gonna sour down to become that bad, m soo dead sure bout it!) aneways... they said they forgot to bill in for the document preperation.. n since i was doing it.. i was to add it in... Naidu peeped frm his cube n said, ya put in 30 hours for u and soud each, i js gave him the ok luk to continue wid my wrk, then he looked at me and said.. well i know its cheating, but we still got to do it, i want to bill them well this time he said.. dat kinda gave me n eeky feelin, y'z he tellin me hez cheating n he knows bout it too.. that reminded me , this was the same guy talkin to me bout integrity issues an year back.. n luk who talks of cheating now...

i;ve got a kingsize bug! i;ll get back laterZzZzZz

Hamesha mine !!! KYUNNNNN?

Gannnnnnnnnnnndaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa hai ye Wiproooooooo ! I just hateeeee hate hate hateeeeeee hateeeeee hatee and more more more more moreeee hateeeeeeeeee the people here! ek se badke ek chor'z these people are! i dotn believe they;d stoop down to this level ! come on! who'd i trust????
:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(
i'm really really reallllllyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy mad at these guyz! they ruined my monday morning! damn i hate 'em all so much.. i wish i;d see d fella who did it, i;d jsu give him the look he;d never imagined to see, he;d fall on his feet and swear never to do such a thing again !! i hateeeee 'emmmmmmmmmmm :(:(:(:(:(

meraich milaa thaa kyaa :(:(:(
kya hua malumm :(:(:(:( boht bura huaaaaaaaaaaa ! aaakhri phiriwi hai meri abhi !!
therz this lil chord i use to connect my headfones to my machine, headfonez chote hain :( they wudnt reach the systm neeche :( so i had a chord to connect it... aur yeeee ghaleezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz choran :(:(:( some one cut it !! can you belive that, ok churaalete to theek tha ( nai theek nai tha magar come on!! ) they actually cut it using a plier i guess, n it was so neatly done, as if they wanted to use it for something! one piece of it, i found thrown near dusri chir in another cubicle.. n my headfonez removed carefully n kept alag se, but man why did they have to cut it!! leke use karke laake rakhdena tha naaaaaaa :(:(:(:(:( kyun kyun kyunnnnnn karte mere sath :(:(
i wrote d security guyz the img guyz, the suvidh a guyz, the fmg guyz, eveyone everyone!! a mail. they;d better gimme a new one now( not that they provided the earlier one! but this, i will have it from them for sure!! ) pehle bhi someone stole my headfonez :(:(
n may be, some morning if i find my mouse missing or my keyboard's cable cut some day, i shudnt be surprised! huhhh!

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

I never thougt i'd wonder about something that seemed (!!!!!) i paused for long to fit in some word, but i realized i actually ran out of 'em.

Friends were always a part of life, they were always there, and to me that always meant, 'in good times' ok, may b not just 'in good times' may b it is 'all times except bad times'. I dont know if;d be exaggerating, but i dont really remmber when my friends saw me in pain/anger/hurt/worried/crying (na not fr smthn silly)... nah, it aint their fault.. its me, i dont know why, i just never showed, i never wanted to. but ya m sure i ditn let them down, i've been blessed to have such beautiful peopela round me who find me so much worthy that they share their very very important decissions, seek advice, or just cry, i can't explain how it feels to be there for someone when they r dat low, n nither can i explain how difficult i see it to actually let go emotions before your friends.

Its awlays been like, people come and people go... i just turn back, i see fading footsteps too, i see smiles i see cries, but surprisingly i also see some of 'em still there.

I dont know why, but i really find it astonshing that we can hold on to people for years together. Its different scenarios when its family, u actually live together and the emotion quotient there is different from that we;d share with friends.

Aint it a nice feeling to just call up someone and yell at them for no reason and bang the fone down again, n still be assured u can call back when ur ok just to say sorry, and u'll see nothing changed. although i have'nt tried this, i feel good just thingking of it :)

Its so nice when you can just call up and say, i want to cry i dont know why, and even if i do, i wont tell you why, so please dont ask. :D i;ve tried this, infact this was like one of those times i felt like M I REALLY DOING THIS!!??

i'm not surprised that i pause and wonder how people around me found me so worthwile :) but its beautiful to feel your loved and trusted and cared for.

but yea, m still learning to let go.. :)

may i have your attention --- "!!*?*!!"

I dont know whats with this thing to seek attention before one would begin a conversation with someone. Well ok, in a gathering it might be required, when you ant to speak to them all, you obviously would require their attention before you begin your talk.. but how bout it, when its a one to one conversation? hmm , well.. may be its ok ( not necessarily required though). you could just start talking to the other person cant u? hmmm, ya if you see him/her engaged ( to the extent that it seems they are actually engrossed and not just engaged) in somehting, then you really need to do something to grab attention before you have your word.

hmm now a nice one-- how exactly do u seek attention?
1. An excuse me .... is too formal i guess
2. Hello? hmm ya would be fine, but not when the talk is too frequent.. u cant actually keep saying hello to the same person again n again ( ina span of say 2 hours, n u talk to them at.. intervals of say.. half n hr or 45 minz?)
3. A pat on the table with a pen ( or just ur finger, but hey! loud enough to have n impact han :D)?? ( :D this onez very practical, and my team mate always uses it wid me :D:D coz my headfones r always on, n he actually needs to do that to get my attention :D) so its a tried n tested idea, but ensure that its used in a similar situation, else its the most stupid way to do it !
4. Ok this onez the ultimate one! n to me, its the most annoying one too !, i dont even know what to call it, its like apna gala saaf karre koi before they sing ( umm i dont know if i've conveyed the message rite) u know that sound they make just before they reach you or look at you or turn towards you... its like n indicator ki, hey m here, look at me or lisn to me!.. i dunno it somehow is soo soo wierd n silly, but so very widely used.
5. hmm what i;d prefer? Just say the name, u have the person;s attention all for you. simple nai? but i hardly see it bein used ( i know you wudnt agree) but js look around, m sure u;ll hear more of 'hey!' or hello ( no not as a way of greeting, wo to chalta wn u see sm1 the first time or not very occasionally int he day) or 'ehm ehmms' or mediators beechme tellin you ( or somtimes just pointing at the other person who requires ur attention!! )

hmmm khair.. this js cliked to me wn i heard the same 'ehm ehm' (which my team mate uses js before he has smthin to tell me) n i turned to him but realised that he dint actually want my attention that time... :)

are they born tihs way!?

Double standards-- Y ??? i hate cribbing htis way i just hate it so much, but i cant help it one bit, and no this aint the first time either, it happens time and again n i tell ya i foolishly let it go ! not that i know what i should do , but hey, i;ve put in effort too, y does someone else ALONE get the cherry on the cake? typical corporate politics scenario i know, but hey a word of appreciation is not gonna cost him a penny's worth then hell y !
ok i was appreciated when i wrked too, i do not deny that, but the point is, all that goes in the drain when the entire credit is handed over to another( although i do appreciate his efforts too ) but damn my manager!! i hate him, coz he gosh ( i feel tacky talking about it, feel like a miser begging for appreciation! damnn i dont need his! i hate him i hate him i hate him!) but i can not deny, i got really mad when i read the mail that gave jus one fela the credit of the whole work package whn i slogged over it for so long... it just pulls u down man! y d hell do u think i;ll work now!
fine!! he now wants estimates for the next work package! now he'll get ;em frm me!

by the way.. i was off this place for long coz i ditn feel like riting, iw as jus rearranging stuff n i;ve moved my poetry collection ( my poetry! my godd!! kitna bhaari bhaari sa lagra huh! ) to a new blog, i;ve linked it up from here.. not that i;ve added anything new there.. ya have put in pics wid 'em as per Anilz suggestion :) )

oh ya, i frgot to mention :D
it rained sooooooooooo heavily aj :) .. i'll tell ya the whole thing ruko...
the current was off since last nite ( i dint realise when it actually got turned off, but it was off for more than 3 hrs past midnite.. n it was like that until the wee hours of morning), n iw as praying that something massive must have happened that would result in a blackout sorts, so no current in hyd atleast for aj, so no power to systems n soo so soooooooo no work :D, han, i was thinkin bout this in the middle of the nite whn i got up fr a glass of water n realised ki current nai tha, n whni chekd the time it was bout 3.30 or so i guess.. .. khair.. aisa to nahi hua.. :D
neways.. i got up n it was raining ( it hink raat bhar hui baarish) after Fajar, i jsut oepend the door n sat on the step in the aangan wishing i woudnt have to go to off :(, but hten i saw the time n it was 7.10 already, i realised i must rush to get ready else m gona have a bad time catching the bus (i;ve been walking to my stop n it takes me 20 min :(, dont ask me y m walking!! sab gande auto waalon ki galti hai!! milte hi nahi subah ke time! ) khair... i was ready by 7.25 ( ya i dont take zyada time :D) so i had another 5 mins, i slippd my burkha on, n i lukd outside n man was it raining heavily.. woooooooooooooo time up.. ghar jana haiiii
but hey
maze ki baat to ye thi.. k i somehw managed to call my cousin imran n he was awake bechara n he drove me to the stop n it was sooo much fun ( iw as dripping yarooo ) khair.. my fone fell in a puddle of water :(:(:( ( it sounds terrible now, goto get it chekddd... ) sheeshhhhh 6.10 hogaye yaro.. osrry jana hai...
another timeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.....