He messed up my beautiful morning !

My mood wasn't as bad as now just a few minutes ago ! i am open o criticism and happen to take it well in my stride, and also realise how to get the better out of myself if its in the right spirit, but hell !! doing it behind my back and not on my face ! what a Loser!!! yea.. m talkin of my manager Naidu! n i hate him today ! just one extra bit of hatred, and dat bit has a humugous size ! , i was ill, had fever, so dint come on friday .... monday mornin, dats just a lil while ago, i waas feelin so good to get back to work, i dont know what made me feel that good, i was really looking forward to doing some good work and heading home satisfied... but this MAN ! is sick !! i am not doing it behind his back.. i would;nt mind if he;d even read this !! i care a damn! but this is true n this is what m feeling for him right now !

My friends told me ( i had first written the name, then removed, i dont really wana put sm1 else into truoble! but howi wish naidu gets to know dat i blog n he stumbles into this page! may b not today.. may b smtime ever in his life, n then he;d realise that after 10 years of work at wipro.. he still had a just fresher talk this way about him... ( apart from the others who know him enuf ! ) ) ya.. so i was told,, Tasneem you were the tlak of the project on friday.. i just looked n asked.,,, umm .. good or bad? ... i was told... what do you expect from these peaople... i said bad..... i was given n affirmation for dat ! n i walkd out for cofee with safa... n i told her too.. for all my hard work.. this is wat i get.. i tell u.. its annoyingly frustrating, .. i know all ppl are'nt bad... when Srimant was there.. i;d do even a very little thing, he woul give me such a nice, 'very good' or when i;d say i dont know if i can do it.. he would give such a confident smile with a ' i know you can do it' ... that would make me do it ! i remmber.. even when he gave me a whole requirement to handle.. i just looked at him and he said... common you made the proposal, and you know about it, you did the estimation too... you can do it... i just smiled, at dat time i knew he was going... even later, when it was his second last day.. he'd come to me n asked how is it going... n i showed him what i did.. and he said.. veryyy goood... you are almost done, and you were simply worried... then i had told him.. i still have Alex for windows to do na Srimant, and he said.. that is very simple when compared to this, you will do it.. and you have a lot of time ( that time i hd about 20 days in hand )... all i mean to say is... whn you are appreciated for what you do, you feel like doing it better, sometimes you really dont know you can do it, unless someone tells you .. you can... you know when Debraj was leaving too, iw as with Srimant and he was showing me somehting, he had come to Srimant's desk and he told me... you are the most promising member of the Alex team now.. it embarassed me a little, coz i did nothing by then,. i had just smiled, and he then told said yes.. you are giving good solutions you all will take care he had said... i js smiled again..
It seems... Naidu was in high spirits on firday yelling about what i did... i messed up the gif files it seems.. hell! did anyone bother to tell me or guide me how to do it?? NO !.. did anyone bother to come n check.. knowing that project is in new hands, did anyone wana know howz the flow? NO ! DAMN! the developers were worried, there was no plan, there was a whole module, whoz code flow NOBODY NOBODY knew!!! and what at this time should the manager do when the developer would go and express their concern over it?.. you know waht i was told? whn i went and said... ia m having a really bad time with Alex for windows.. i dont understand what to do? DAMN.. he just told me... ' try' ... dats it ! even till the end .. he dint get to us... n then when there was may b a week.. Kannan happened to realise n he got into it.. n v had soem talking done to realise how bad d status was.. n we further workd.. getting it to a leel where it was in deliverable state! it was at last moment that he realised n started working with Thangarajan... n even in the middle of that.. NAidu went to the extent of blaming Srimant and Debraj !! n how modest is that for a PM to do??? he speaks ill of those members of the team who worked so hard and did so much, and now that they are gone, he blames them for having messed it up before they left!?!! what could i expect from him??? never did i hope for a word of appreciation from him never! and i never will...
I did'nt delete any files int he main, i;ve worked just in the dev branch, all the gif files, i dint wana lose them. i took care that i;d hav a back up and apart formt hat instead od deleting them i renamed them, if i've done rong, i'll accept it... you hell blame me for wht i have not done.... i care a damn speaking and questioning about it to ANYBOD Y !!! and no this is'nt ATITTUDE!! this is what required to be shown when ppl mess with your dignity !
it seems he discussed all that with Kiran( the onsite guy) .... i always felt he had n idea of what i can do.. and what kinda work i do.. i dont know.. but now.. i dont even want to know ! earlier i thought.. yea.. Alex is MY module, i will work for its excellence, if smthiin would be messed up, i;d be worried, i;d share this with Soumendra, he would say dont worry so much... when the build wasnt ready on time.. i was worried, i felt bad for not having finished on time( not my part... d other one's ) but still... neywas... NOW I CARE A DAMN! A DAMN A DAMN A DAMN!! if he comes and questions me.. i'll answer him... else let him bear with the MISTAKES he claims i ahve made !!
and for now.. m gona put my music on again.. n carry on with the lil enhancements that were mentioned in the mail i got on friday.. n yea.. sm bo cases tooo.. magar ab .. no way m i gona take this stuff seriously... they;ve seen the good of me... if they emss wid me.. they'll have to see the bad of me too... n my bad wouldnt show out ! i'd still do it with dignity !