EnJoY??#!$%^&* (srimant said that to me a while ago)....man if they call this enjoy.. then this aint the place for me to be in!!! sheesh! the last week has shown me too too too many ups n downs... nah.. they were just downs!! n all of 'em seemed to compete in their depth!!! i dotn wanna say i went through hell... coz hey! this seems to be just just the beginning!! lol yea.... m hinting at d fact that i perhaps may have worse to see.... (noticed smtihn wierd? this is perhaps the veyr first time i am talking of an adversity with a tinge of laughter!! yea i really have to laugh at myself, this scenario, my situation.. everythin everythin!!!) yea this ha got one good thing related to it though... atleast am smiling(Dilse) yea... i know i've got a hard time coming up wid earlier patches already on... but... m jus getting used to well ok... "the bad" of work and some other things(this takin me a hell lot of time :( )
i havent been "working" yea... dats true... i;ve just been meddling around.. making frantic calls, and have been at my "upset best" ( i dunno if that makes sense.. i js meant to say i;ve been at my peak of being upset) and you know me! i wouldnt share a word with anybody :( ( dis is one thing i really need to change of me! ) and this made me relaise.. how important it is to share... yea.. i this process of down n down.. i realised... it maks things lighter to bear when you share (hey seee it rhymes.. heheh!) nah.. seriously... you js say it out.. n u feel better... its just the way the Lord has designed us... but yea the choice atleast lies with us....
day 1: meeting for work distribution... i sort of had n idea this was comin my way.. i did all the designing for it.. obviously they;d make me implement it ( a MAJOR requirement Ericsson is looking forward to int his release :( :( ... ) and that already sunk into me before it was officially declared to me... neways.. back to the meeting... i got what i expected... i said ok.. nex thing... Naidu further distributed the work items... Srimant at one point said.. No .. iw ont take it... let Tasneem and Soumendra do that.. i'll help them... ( i dint say a word.. i js kept sayint o myslef... wats rong wid him...) Srimant was very very very adamant bout it.. and so was Naidu(dats the usual Naidu.. hez very adamant bout everything!! ) n that gave me a hint... okkk Srimant is leaviing!! n i kept sayin... NO NO NOO this cant happen.. he cant go ... he cant leave that way.. he just cant go!! i cudnt imagine Alex without Srimant( by the way.. hez the module lead) but he didnt even declare it... so there still was hope... nah.. ur jus thinkin too much Tasneem, i told myself... y wud he go... he;'ll be tehre... d meeting finished.. srimant still said hez not doing it.... i dunno what happened after that.... srimant made frantic steps to get eveyrthing installed on my system... too many things... he was jus p[ushing all data on to my machine.. and there i was assured... TASNEEM!!!!! HEZ GOING!!!! my heart sank! wo chalagaya... to mera kya hoga!! i cant do it! hez been workin on ALex since 3 years now.. he knows the in n out of it.. n m here since 2 months.. js did a few things here and there thats all.... then??? what if they ask me to do the release this time?!?!?!?! nooooooo way!!!!! ....
Day 2: Srimant adds two more ppl in the team.... both no nothing bout Alex.. onez new guy.. and the other one was a part of our team b ut wrkin on a nother module... but fr alex.. he was a novice!! now i knew it!! yup.. they'll make me do it... they have NO OTHER GO!!! i still kept sayin nah.. hez not leavin( i am really bad at this.. i just dont wanna face reality!!!!! i dunno when m gonna change!!!! :( if i were some one else.. i'd slap tasneem n say idiot!! he really is leaving!!) neways..... Srimant sent a mail saying.. come to my table... v;ll have a session... n v started havin sessions bout how to do the releases( did i still need any assurance???? huh!!)
TO BE CONTINUED!! this is the fastes post i;'ve ever typed... and i dunno if i can compelte it... i;ve got loads of work... but hey.. ire slogged ( not really work but it was more of emotinal put down) to get till here!
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